Watch all the things! The Bachelor is back this January with Latin hunk, Juan Pablo. Ay, ay chico. Be still my salsa-dancing heart. Not only is the season premiere happening, but ABC has a smorgasbord of other episodes they are releasing. So prepare your boyfriends/roommates/significant others for your DVR to be completely overpacked with The Bachelor for the ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY.
Here is what is happening:
When: MONDAY, JANUARY 6, 2014 - 8|7c
Juan Pablo Galavis meets his 25 lucky ladies and the. epicness. begins.
When to tune in: Every freakin’ Sunday of January at 8pm ET/PT
January 5th - (8 – 9 p.m. ET/PT) – The Bachelor: Countdown to Juan Pablo. A whole hour of Juan Pablo, just him, what he’s about, y’know probs with his shirt off and taking care of his adorable daughter Camilla (like this one), and talking in his sexy accent and making us swoon.
January 12th - (8 – 9 p.m. ET/PT) - The Bachelor: Behind the Scenes. The Bachelor Bus is back! Carrying stars of seasons past and crashing parties around LA area. Plus, a little preview of Juan Pablo’s first date and what it’s like for the ladies moving into the mansion.
January 19th - (8 – 9 p.m. ET/PT) – The Bachelor: Bachelor Love Stories. A little look back at all of the successful Bachelor couples like Ashley and JP, Jason and Molly, Trista and Ryan…And Des and Chris (a little premature with that last one? I’m still banking on that one to fail, but prove me wrong, Desris, Chred, Chrisiree? See it just doesn’t work.)
January 26th – Sean and Catherine’s wedding (see below)
Credit: OK! Magazine
That’s right Sean and Catherine, last season’s couple, are tying the knot in Bachelor bliss! Who woulda thunk. You would if you follow their Instagram accounts, because 99.9% of the time it’s a (often weird and quirky) pic or video of them together. Exhibit A.
When: SUNDAY, JANUARY 26, 2014 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) (Which is also my birthday!! Which you probably don’t care about, but omg I’m so excited!) AND it is going to be LIVE. No pre-taping here. Watch them say their vows and make Bachelor nation proud. I’ll post more on their wedding details soon.
Whelp, good thing I have a racing schedule starting in January because my butt is going to be glued to the couch for the foreseeable future. It’s going to be like Christmas all over again. A little overkill, but no complaints here. Give me all the things. Are you going to be watching, Bachelor Fans? Every. Single. Sunday? AND Monday?
Gia Allemand, a model/actress who appeared on Jake Pavelka’s season of The Bachelor and two seasons of The Bachelor Pad, passed away today. Her boyfriend found her Monday in her New Orleans home. She was taken to the hospital and in critical condition on life support until Wednesday. According to People Gia’s family released the following statement: ”Due to a critical loss of brain and organ function, life support was withdrawn.” Later it was reported Gia passed away of attempted suicide. According to TMZ the cause of death was hanging. Perez Hilton put together a string of tweets from former Bachelor/ette contestants expressing their sorrow and support for her family.
“It’s with heavy hearts that we say goodbye to our good friend Gia Allemand,” host Chris Harrison said. ”She will be loved and missed by all who knew her.”
“I had to pull over, I can’t stop crying,” Jake Pavelka wrote. “We have lost an angel.”
Gia’s boyfriend, Ryan Anderson, NBA player for the New Orleans Pelicans released the following statement:
I’m deeply grateful for all the love and support we have received from family, friends and fans. Gia was the most beautiful person I knew inside and out and she always smiled and made everyone else around her smile.”
“She had such an amazing impact on my life and anyone that knew her was blessed. All I have left is to cherish those memories we made together and help perpetuate the many values, faith and love that we shared.
Such a sad and tragic day, especially for someone so young. Sending our thoughts with the family.
Who does Des end up with? Chris! After her heartbreak, Des was able to see who really had her best interests at heart and deeply cared for her. She recognized right off the bat from spending more time with Drew, it just wasn’t there. Then came her date with Chris. Chris, the loveable man that he is, stuck by her side, knowing how heartbroken she was over Brooks. He gave her a journal (another one – what a lucky girl. I hope she has a lot of thoughts to put in this one too), and several times said he was in this 100%. Chris was the only one to make it to meet her family and the only one at the end. He was just to get down on one knee when Des revealed how much she had invested with Brooks and how she wished she could have seen sooner how much Chris truly loved her. It was beautiful. Des wore a dress similar to Ashley Hepbert from the last Bachelorette and stopped Chris from getting on one knee (you know, scaring him to pieces) and then professing her love. After the Final Rose shows them going strong and In Touch Weekly says Des is planning her wedding. I would be so psyched for the happy couple if I weren’t head-over-heels for Chris.
Who is the next Bachelor? That latin soccer-playing heart throb that you know and love….Juan Pablo! Ay, ay chico! Mmmm, I cannot wait for January.
Monday night is around the corner and as Chris Harrison has reiterated time and time again, this is the most dramatic season finale (pronounced fin-all-ee by Chris) yet. To make viewing that much more fun, yes follow #thebachelorette hashtag, but these Twitter accounts are sure to give you some added quips, chuckles, and raillery.
If you’re not already following these first three, get on it. They’re kind of a big deal…
While, yes, you should also be scrolling through Chris Harrison’s twitter stream for all the latest deets, you do not want to miss out on the snarky, hilarious stream of his awesome counterpart: Cocky Chris Harrison
I also have a Twitter listyou can stalk of all of the previous Bachelor/ette contestants, so you can see what they’re saying throughout this epic season finale and After The Final Rose special. Monday night is almost here, Bachelor Fans!!!
Fantasy suite dates, the island of Antigua and tears. Lots and lots of tears. Like an hour of tears from both Brooks and Des. Between the Antiguan frogs, and the sobbing, and the loud make out sessions, it was hard to distinguish what people were saying this episode, but really all you need to know is Brooks broke up with Des, and Des told him she loves him. And it was pretty gut-wrenching.
Who got kicked off: Well, it seems like Brooks is out, but now that Des is all upset about it, it seems like he changed his mind. Goodness knows.
The first hour was about Des’ dates with Drew and Chris.
Date 1: Drew and Des explored Antigua. Bet you weren’t expecting that one. Another exploration date, wandering around with the locals. But this time they livened it up by buying a sh*t ton of stuff. Items Drew believes they will hang in their house when they get married. Oh Drew, if you only knew. Des gave him the key to the fantasy suite and they had a really loud make out sesh before kicking out the camera crew.
Date 2: Chris They romped on the beach, took a helicopter ride, Chris read another poem, and he professed his love once more for Des. At dinner their conversation was drowned out by apparently what were the lovely exotic sounds of Antiguan frogs and by lovely I mean completely annoying. (Robert Mills’ (ABC exec) tweet about it made me chuckle though – see below.) Chris asked Des if she’d move to Seattle. She gave a round-about answer of if she were in love blah blah blah, but basically only if Brooks were there.
Grammar rant: It came up a couple times in Des and Chris’ convo and then again with the background music, so I just have to get it quickly off my chest. So feel free to skip ahead. It’s “You and ME.” Not “You and I.” I realize everyone’s trying to be grammatically correct, but it’s not right. Quick tip: If in a sentence you drop the “you and,” it should still make sense. It’s you and ME against the world, Matt White. While I appreciate your soft and soothing tones, you’re messing up the world. End of rant.
Brooks: And the entire second hour was dedicated to Des’ break up with Brooks. Talk about long breakups. This was a doozy.
First Brooks had a sit-down with Chris Harrison. Wait, back up. First Brooks had a sit-down with his Mom and one of his many sisters-in-law to confirm his feelings. Then he sat down with Chris Harrison, where Chris Harrison gave him the steely I’ll-eff-you-up-if-you-crush-Des-for-no-reason stare. Chris grilled Brooks on if Brooks knew what love felt like, if he was afraid to commit, and if he truly wasn’t in love with Des. He made Brooks describe love, then brought up Brooks’ parents’ divorce, then asked him “How does this weigh on you?” Slow clap for Chris Harrison on that one. Calling him out. THEN Brooks sat down with Des for an hour.
Previously Des and Brooks have used this analogy for love: stepping, skipping, walking, maybe some meandering, jogging, running, then the finish line. So I may have added a few, but you get the picture. At one point early on, Des admitted to be in the running stage whereas Brooks said he was jogging. Well, he didn’t do a very good job of keeping pace because Des told him she was at the finish line and that she loved him.
Things Des said: ”I’ve never known what it’s like to be completely loved.”
“I don’t know what it feels like to be reciprocated.” - What the whaaat. Wait a second. Didn’t Drew just say he was ready to get down on one knee? And I’m pretty sure it was written in one of Chris’ poems about his undying love.
“I don’t care that you just broke my heart. I love you. I do.”
“I always love the wrong people.”
“I was conflicted because I didn’t want to share my heart. I wanted to give it to you.”
Things Brooks said: “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t do an awesome job of saying he didn’t love her. He just kept holding her.
Sassy Tweets of the Night: From Robert Mills’ tweets about the Antiguan frogs chirping up a storm to Andrea Lavinthal’s (style director at People Magazine) commentary on Chris Harrison’s chat with Brooks, we had a bit of sass on Twitter Monday night. But the winner of the tweets has to go to @MKWonderland for her tweet below. Hat tip to you, @MKWonderland. Hat tip to you.
Desiree blogged about the finale part 1 on People Magazine. She ends with tune in next week to see what happens with “Brooks, [her] broken heart, and the other men.” Does this imply Brooks returns? I think he looked pretty set on peacing. I think the real question is does Des stay? But I’m conflicted.
The parts of her post you need to read:
Could get past this heartbreak to love either one of them as much as they both deserved? And would we ever get the opportunity to explore that? I promised myself from the beginning that I was here for love and not just to go through the motions. I had to remind myself that if I wasn’t feeling enough for the guys, I wouldn’t stay.
Stay tuned next week to find out what happens with Brooks, my broken heart and the remaining men.
He really wanted to be in love with Des so much I think he almost forced himself into doing something he would have later regretted…I don’t really think Brooks ever misled Des. He seemed to really struggle all the way through this. Maybe he could’ve come to this final realization earlier, but the fact is, it just never seemed to be there.
A bigger question is even if Brooks doesn’t come back and Des gets together with one of the other guys left, can Des’ relationship with the other guys’ withstand all of these episodes airing where Des is like I love Brooks, omg I love Brooks, did I mention I love Brooks?
I’m stumped. So many questions. What are your thoughts, Bachelor Fans? Do you think Brooks comes back?
Next week, part 2. Break out the wine, Bachelor-themed baked goods, and maybe some tissues because this is going to be 3 hours of an emotional roller coaster: 2 hours of turmoil, followed by the After the Final Rose sit-down where all 3 of the men return to talk it out with Des.
What was that hidden message in invisible ink Chris Harrison read aloud in The Men Tell All? As promised, here is the gem that Zak W. encrypted in the journal he gifted to Des in the early stages of The Bachelorette season. Thank you, Wetpaint.
Love is it. The only reason to open your home to a stranger. The one creature worthy of surrendering freedom. No risk is too great, no apprehension justifiable. All hope is rooted in it, because love is our only hope for happiness, and I am happy to say this is love. – Zak W.
Whoa, that is some deep stuff. When Zak W. loves, he loves hard.
Bonus: Remember when I asked for a tumblr dedicated to the many reactions of Zak W.? Well, I think I found the next best thing. Welcome to the faces of rejected bachelorettes tumblr! Some good stuff in there. Enjoy, Bachelor Fans! Only a few more days until the first part of the season finale!!
The Men Tell All delivered on its promise of drama.
James is still vying to be the next Bachelor. Ben is in fact a D-bag. And wait…who is that man speaking? Dan? Does anyone remember a Dan? And Zak wrote AND performed another song (about his heartbreak no less). Pure genius. Beautiful television right there. I can just picture the producers high-fiving in the background with the soft lighting reminiscent of those CD infomercials no one buys from, and the upward camera angle, close shot as Zak pours his heart out in song. Magical.
With that plus Wes’ country crooning song, “It Don’t Take that Long,” pretty soon we’ll have a whole Bachelor soundtrack on our hands.
Before the show’s festivities: The Bachelor Party Bus is back! And so are a slew of Bachelor/ette All-Stars crashing the viewing parties. In case you need a refresher, the Bachelor Party Bus is where Chris and the current Bachelor/ette go around LA crashing Bachelor watch parties. Wine is flowing and sometimes a rose or two is handed out. This time they brought around Trista, Jason and Molly and baby, and JP and Ashley to join in the fun.
In the hotseat:
Brian! Just kidding. He smartly chose to sit this one out and was not in attendance. Remember good old Brian? The one with a girlfriend who showed up at the mansion, sobbing and talking about her son and how her and Brian were still in a relationship and threw rocks at each other and all kinds of good stuff. I can’t imagine why he didn’t attend. Now that would have been fun.
Ben: So Ben was first on the skewer. Ben did not get along with any of the guys from the get-go. The first night he told Juan Pablo the overused line, “I’m not here to make friends.” Sidenote: I am in love with Juan Pablo. That’s when Dan spoke up. He had a lot to say for someone I did not remember. Apparently, Ben’s ex told Dan in Vegas that Ben wasn’t inovled with his kid and was not a great dad. But really, who is that guy?
Next on the hot seat, James! In one last ditch attempt to become The Bachelor, James took his place in front of Chris’ grilling. Funny thing, when they replayed his journey with Des, he said the first day he met her that loyalty is the most important thing to him. Later down the road, we learn he cheated on his girlfiends. Maybe he’s learned from it, maybe not, but when Chris asked him if he would consider being the next Bachelor, you couldn’t help but notice his eyes light up.
And a mini mention to Jonathan aka Fantasy Suite man. I forgot about him. The sleazeball that offered Des a key to the fantasy suite. Good times.
Juan Pablo – According to Chris Harrison, no guy has become a fan favorite with less screen time. The soccer-kicking-latin-lover-single-dad from Venezuela. My favorite moment is when Juan Pablo playfully reprimanded James. When Chris Harrison asked for Juan Pablo’s thoughts on James and his intentions. Juan Pablo said that he would not allow his daughter or sister to date James as James is now. Not until he becomes a good James. That moment only rivaled by when he did a gringa accent. He’s 32 and wants to settle down.
Zak W. – He’s the one with all of the fantastic reaction faces. There has got to be a Tumblr dedicated to Zak’s reactions, because they’re epic and amazing and should be documented or enshrined forever. Oof, his interview was a little heartbreaking. He’s still in love with Des. Apparently, he also wrote a secret note in invisible ink in the back of the journal he gave to Des early on in case she did choose him in the end. So of course Chris Harrison is all set to read that aloud. It was a lot of deep thoughts on love. I was so preoccupied with the fact I missed he had written in invisible ink, I did not transcribe it. You can bet I’m going to seek that gem out though. Fear not, Bachelor Fans.
Des told Zak she thought they were very similar people and then rehashed Sean’s words he had told Des on his season, “Sometimes I think you hide behind your smile.”
Favorite quote of the season: “When you see me smile, this is how I experience life.” – Zak W.
Then we get to the good stuff of Zak performing in song lamenting his heartbreak and that he’s moving on. Ballsy.
Who is left:
The final three men are Drew, Chris, and Brooks.
Sneak peak of this season’s most shocking two part finale event! Whoa. Looks as though Des leaves in tears. The quote she kept saying was, “I always love the wrong people.” It seems as though Brooks leaves, but we also see Chris standing at what appears to be the alter. I don’t know what’s going on with Drew. Chris Harrison assures us this is the most shocking season finale they’ve ever had. And when he says that you know it’s true. ABC is splitting up the finale into two weeks! You can watch a sneak preview here.
Sidenote: Add audience reaction faces to that Zak Tumblr because there were some good ones after they played the sneak peek. Gold. Pure gold.
Hometown dates! In a major turn of events, nothing happened. As expected every family loved Des and gave their sons their blessings to take her hand in marriage. And this season continues down the road of perfection to snoozeville. Where is the drama? Isn’t this The Bachelorette? The only inkling to some type of shocker is that Des is sobbing saying she wants to go home in the upcoming episodes.
Fun Fact: All of the bachelors have said “I love you” to Des, except for Brooks. And Brooks is the only bachelor Des has said she loves (twice actually – one time to Chris Harrison and then again on the Hometown dates this week in a side interview).
Who got kicked off:Zak W. After professing his love and giving Des a promise ring, his heart was crushed. Des gave the ring back and Zak unceremoniously tossed it out of the limo as the limo so kindly pulled over to the side of the road.
Salt Lake City, UT – Des surprised Brooks with a list of all the moments she loved in their relationship thus far, because Brooks has been hesitant about this process of finding love. Brooks took Des out on the water in a canoe, which he promptly got water in. Des met a whole slew of people. I lost count. What was cute, was that they all wore nametags for her. Thoughtful…and necessary. They were a lively bunch.
McMinnville, OR - Flashback to Allie and Roberto’s hometown date and you’re pretty much set. Balls, bats, gloves. Check. Cheesy (and not gonna lie adorable!) chalkboard eye black stickers. Check. Fun Corny Fact: Chris wrote “heart Chris” under Des’ eye black stickers “because [her] eyes were up here.” Get it? Eye…heart…Chris. Oh Chris, still so punny. Chris used to play professional baseball so he took Des to the field he grew up playing on and they played a little catch and did some batting practice. Des is pretty sporty and held her own. When meeting the fam it got a little weird. Chris’ dad is a chiropractor so he gave Des an adjustment after he found out she tweaked her back on one of the dates.
Phoenix, AZ – Drew’s family is pretty much the poster family for perseverance. Drew’s Dad overcame alcoholism. His parents are divorced, and Drew has a severely mentally handicapped sister, who you can tell he just adores. They were warm and welcoming and made Des and Drew play a dating game where they have to guess how the other person would answer a question (i.e. Does Drew prefer pancakes or waffles?). Sidenote: Oh man, I just realized how cute Des and Drew sounds. DD. Double D. Double D’s. Dunkin Donuts. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.
Dallas, TX – First and foremost, Zak’s family is awesome. My kind of people. They are just a bundle of enthusiasm…on crack…times ten. Or in the words of Des: “Picture the best date you’ve ever had, times it by then, and then live in it.” They are just living in a fantasical place. Or maybe it’s the sugar. Zak’s family owns a snow cone truck. Des said, “A future with Zak would be something new every single day.” Then out comes the snow cone truck. Followed by a flock of teeny tiny little kids who immediately swarmed it. Followed by Zak in a penguin suit. During the hometown date, Zak gave Des a promise ring, but I’m talking wedding ring status. If that’s a promise ring I want know what he thinks a wedding ring looks like because that sucker was huge.
Tweet of the night: Goes to @MonikaZinnn for her spot on assessment of The Bachelorette audition requirements. This tweet was from the last episode, but c’est la vie.
So basically all of the guys are perfect and have perfect families and love Des. Splendid. Am I the only one who’s finding this season to be a little on the snoozefest side? Is there hope for more drama in The Men Tell All? Am I just being a bitter betty?
The group headed to Barcelona this week, and a few said adios to a shot at love with Des.
Who got kicked off: Tic-tac-toe, three in a row. Tonight we said sayonara to James, Juan Pablo, and hashtag man Kasey. Can someone please explain to me how Michael is still there, because I just don’t get it.