Who got kicked off: David, Male Model Jordan and John were sent home. David and Jordan were both sent home on a two-on-one date and John was sent home at the rose ceremony.
One-on-One Date: Colton got the one-on-one date. They rode camels and the hot tub finally made an appearance. At dinner, Colton told her he has only said “I love you” once in his life to a significant other and he puts a lot of meaning behind it. They rode around on a big bus and there was a sign that read “Kiss her.”
Group Date: Singing…again. I actually All of the men went on the group date except for David and Jordan who got to hang out at home with Colton and reaffirm how excited they were for the two-on-one date. The group date was another singing contest. I’m unclear if Becca just really enjoys singing, but this date was a train wreck. They had to write lyrics at Wayne Newton’s house who showed up on horseback by the way, and sing in front of an audience to Danke Schoen . No one was good. Chris did fine, but then he didn’t go up to Becca to get time at the afterparty leaving Becca feeling confused. Chris said that he needs to see from Becca that she wants to be with him. I think Chris forgot who the Bachelorette is or the premise of the show.
Best Quote of the Night: Leo in reference to Lincoln’s song. “No one knew what he said and some would say that was good.”
Because everyone needs a great Leo photo.
Blake is falling hard and took her outside the arena and told her he’s falling in love with her. As we’ll remember Blake got the best date in teh history of Bachelor nation where they literally got to smash everything of Arie’s in a warehouse with the sweet, sweet tunes of Lil John.
Wills is not afraid of patterns. Nor fighting for his one-on-one time. He told Chris that Chris could not interrupt.
Chris Oddly enough just like Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie, Chris went off the deep end. You can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.
Two-on-One Date: David and Jordan got the two-on-one date in the desert. David spent the whole time talking poorly about Jordan and Jordan spent the whole time defending himself. Becca felt like she was back in the middle school. She chose Jordan to go to dinner with to get to know better and parted ways with David. At dinner Jordan only talked about himself and his modeling career and wished he had brought his portfolio. He was smiling ear to ear. Becca was not. She did not give him the rose and sent him home.
The rest of the episode was about Chris being crazy and Blake telling her he was falling in love with her.
The group is headed to Virginia, the city for Lovers.
The proposal this time was a lady. She chose an Ad Exec Jordan from Southern California and plays hockey. She is a single mom/songwriter from Nashville.
A lady in a lot of red. Feeling Off. Good-bye ManBun.
Who got kicked off:Ryan and Manbun Mike were sent home at the rose ceremony that was supposed to happen last week. Jean Blanc was sent home on the group date because Becca didn’t believe he was falling for her. Christon and Nick were sent home at the rose ceremony sans cocktail party.
Cocktail Party from Last Week: Blake asked her how many kids she wants. They talked about kids names.
Becca gave Jordan gold underpants. David came back from the hospital with his face a little beaten up. Becca gave him the rose so he could go home and rest up instead of attending the rose ceremony.
After the rose ceremony, the men got way too excited about Park City, Utah. No one gets that excited about Utah. It’s snowing in Utah. Except maybe David. No bunk beds in Utah. Too soon?
Park City, Utah
One-on-One: Garrett They wandered around the cute downtown. She is infatuated with him I think because he reminds her of home. And she needs to be comforted right now post-engagement-break-up. Garrett and Becca went bobsledding with an Olympic bobsled team of two that got married from their bobsledding days. Becca told Garrett he reminded her of her dad. So there’s that. Garrett reveals he was married at 23 and divorced after two months. Becca’s response, “hmm.” And her mind was like “hit the brakes!” Garrett told her he’s in it and the next person he says “I love you” to he will mean it. So he won her back. She thinks he’s loyal. Granger Smith sang to them at a concert.
Also, Lincoln has a previous assault case from 2016 hiding behind the curtains. Warner Bros released a statement having denied knowledge of this charge from his background checks prior to the show, according to Vulture. Lincoln was found guilty and was charged with a year in a house of correction. He must attend 3 AA meetings for two years and stay away from the victim to avoid the jail time. Ashley Spivey is tweeting up a storm. Warner Bros should hire Ashley Spivey to do all the background checks from here on out.
Group Date: Jordan, Chris, Blake, Nick, John, Lincoln, Leo, David, Connor, Christon, Jason, Colton, Jean Blanc
Lumberjack central. The men threw on some flannel and work boots and got to work. They chopped wood, climbed trees and sawed logs. The winner of the lumberjack contest was Venmo guy John. We were surprised too. Jean Blanc gave her a perfume titled Miss Becca Blanc and Becca was like naw. Jean Blanc was sent home at the afterparty because Becca wasn’t feeling it and Jean Blanc told her he loved her and she was like are you sure, and he was like I just thought that’s what you wanted to hear, and she was like oh heeeck no and sent him home. Then she went back to the boys upset and told them she wanted honesty.
One-on-One Date: Wills got the lucky one-on-one date right after she sent Jean Blanc home, and started to feel all the feelings she felt when Arie told her he loved her and was like psyche jk, check out these cameras. Wills turned it around, though, and they had a great time in the snow. It took awhile for Becca to warm up and she said she felt off, but it worked out. Wills had actual relationship problems. Not to say Becca didn’t, but she had a 6 week relationship with a guy who was dating 25 other ladies at the same time and Wills had a 3 year-long relationship and talked about marriage and the lady he was with cheated on him. No comparison. Wills wins this round.
No Cocktail Party and a Rose Ceremony.
ABC’s NEW Show The Proposal
The Proposal is as bad as you think it is. So don’t worry, I will watch it for you and recap it every week. Neil Lane is helping out with rings on this show too.
The Premise: Get married in an hour.
Round One: Gowns and intro videos of 10 ladies.
Round Two: 7 ladies left. Swimwear and spill your heart out to a pod. Oh, did I not mention that the man you are supposedly going to marry is sitting in a thing designed where you can’t see him, but he can see you and it is called a pod. Also, one contestant brought a scrapbook. #longlivethescrapbook
Round Three: 4 ladies left. Gowns back on. Best friend of pod man asks questions and makes a recommendation.
Round Five: 2 ladies left. Pod man is revealed! He walks out and greets the ladies. Then the ladies go backstage to practice their last words to him. They come back out and say their words. Then he pauses and picks one to propose to. And that’s it.
Premiere Episode Full Recap: The premiere episode a man kicked it off. ABC blurred him out of his about video so it’s this mystical blob. It is so strange. He is in a pod designed so he can see everyone but no one can see him. Women are backstage until the host announces, I propose we get started. I propose we don’t continue to use I propose puns. The ladies come out one-by-one in formal wear with their about bios playing on a TV screen. They blow kisses to the pod and their would-be suitor.
The first round he chooses 7 out of 10 to move forward. The second round the ladies are forced to put on swimwear like a Miss America pageant contest and then SPILL THEIR GUTS to the pod. The pod man eliminates 3 ladies so they are down to 4. The next round they return back to their original dresses so as not to confuse the pod man and it’s a round of questions, only this time from the pod man’s best friend. The best friend asked questions because who really knows what the one right question to ask a potential life partner would be. After that the friend goes behind the pod to make a recommendation.
The pod man eliminates one lady so we’re down to three ladies. The fourth round is lightening, deal-breaker question round, where pod man asks each girl ONE personal question. The pod man this time had had his right leg amputated from the knee down and that was one of his questions if the girl could be ok with that. Another question was directed at one of the lady’s sex life. And another led to the discovery that she had also been in a life-threatening car crash similar to him (she didn’t know that) (spoiler alert: this is the girl he chose). I’m curious how they cast these people for the pod people.
For the final two, they reveal the pod man. Open the pod, less like Superman more like Jurrasic World. And the contestants hold their breath. And breathe a sigh of relief. Then the two have to give pod man a final speech and he chooses who he wants to propose to. Mike and Monica.
Of the contestants from last week:
I need to know who Morgan from Long Island is what brand she is ambassadoring.
Kelly Gray is determined to break her ankle in roller derby skates down what must have been a million stairs. And took her like a million years to get down on top toe what producer allowed this?
Alona had the unfortunate pun on her name of tired of being alone-uh. ugh my heart.
Who goes home broken hearted after never having seen the guy who is supposed to propose to you?
Two Rose Ceremonies. An L Bomb Dropped. Canceled Cocktail Party. And Becca is Having None of it.
Becca is fo’ serious. She is taking this breakup-find-a-new-man extra serious. She is sending men home left and right. Becca sent Jean Blanc home on a group date because she did not think he was genuine in his love for her and then she was pissssed. All she asked for was honesty. Wills had a one-on-one with her the next day and it was kind of awkward at first, but Wills made it fun. Garrett had a one-on-one and revealed he had been married before and divorced within 2 months. David returned from the hospital after falling off of his bunk bed with his face thoroughly smashed up. Becca canceled the cocktail party because she knew what she wanted to do. And Jordan is getting on everyone’s last nerve.
Who got kicked off: Ryan and Manbun Mike were sent home at the rose ceremony that kicked off the episode. Jean Blanc was sent home on an early departure at a group date after he stole her twice to tell her he was falling in love with her after only 3 weeks. She thought something was off and sent him home. Our globe trotting gorgeous man Christon and Nick were sent home at the second rose ceremony.
The group traveled to Park City, Utah this episode. And next they are on their way to Vegas. Full recap to follow.
Tia and Colton Meet Again. Clay is on the DL. And Leo is coming in strong.
The Twitter-verse was up in arms at the departure of Clay. Looks like Clay and Joe the grocer have already won the hearts of Bachelor Nation.
Who got kicked off: Clay went home after he found out his wrist injury on the football date needed medical attention.
One-on-One Date: Chris got the one-on-one date of his nightmares. It was to Capital Records in Los Angeles, where they met Richard Marx. Then Chris had to write his own love song to Becca. Chris was like this is awfully soon to express all of these feelings that he doesn’t even know if he has. And Becca came out in the hallway and sat with him and eased his fears. It was sweet. And then he blew it out of the water with his lyrics.
“I don’t know why he though he was anything less than amazing,” Becca said after Chris’ lyrics.
At dinner Chris revealed like so many others that his parents’ split was why he has difficulty expressing love. Cool.
Group Date: Pamper Time
Becca brought her ladies on the group date, which included a spa date where a group of the guys and Becca’s friends painted each other’s nails and gave each other massages. Worst date ever. Also, why bring all of these ladies on her dates? Do you think that’s weird? Just me? Let me know in the comments for reals. Kendall was sweet and said that she was looking for the guys that take extra time to pamper Becca to give her good word to Becca, because ultimately Becca’s the one they’re there for.
Tia was on this date. And as we’ll remember from last week, Tia and Colton used to date and Becca was not happy about it. Awko-taco. Tia and Becca had an awkward one-on-one in the middle of the pamper date to dish it out. Tia said she had only kissed him and she hoped he was there solely for Becca. They hugged it out. Colton reassured Becca he was there for Becca.
Colton got the rose on the group date.
Group Date: Clay, Leo, Christina, Ryan, John, Garrett, Manbun Mike, Lincoln, Connor and Blake. Date Card: We can tackle anything together.
That’s right! Becca’s team of players is playing football! Becca brought out two ladies from the women’s football league and they ran drills. Clay crushed the drills and Becca got to see a whole other strong, hot side to the teddy bear. Leo and Garrett helped Becca do a couple drills. Brownie points. Then they split the guys into two teams to scrimmage. In the words of Leo, “Everyone on their team sucks.” They had Manbun Mike and Lincoln who literally tried to tackle his own teammate (also wearing blue, hard to misread). Clay was so sweet. He is an NFL player and literally does this for a living and was so sweet and patient to coach Lincoln. “Lincoln, we’re on offense. Over here.”
Clay’s team was down by 2-3 touchdowns. And I don’t think that Clay likes to lose. He tied the score basically on his own with some help from Blake to tie it 21 to 21.
Leo: “We were poking at the bear a little and then finally Clay decided to let loose and just go insane.”
“He’s a truck. It’s like tackling a moving car.”
Clay made some sweet passes, some legit runs, and as quarterback ran for a touchdown. A touchdown that hurt his wrist.
Clay got the rose on the date. Only to have to give it back at the cocktail hour later that night because he had to leave for surgery on his wrist.
Leo: “This guy is a world class athlete. You don’t want to see him get hurt.”
I have decided Leo is a much better narrator than Jordan. Jordan I have no idea what is happening in that pretty little, Wilhelmina modeling head of his.
Jordan and David Feud
David tattled to Becca that Jordan was bragging about having 4,000 matches in one year on Tinder. I mean is that a lot? I don’t know. Anyway, Becca came out and gave Jordan a high five sarcastically. And the feud began anew.
Chicken Man David was also in the hospital. He fell out of bed. That’s what the blood and ambulance preview scenes were all about. It looks like he’ll be back soon. I think Becca was trying to be polite when Chris Harrison answered her question of ‘Who did this to him,’ with basically he did this to himself, ‘He fell out of a bunk bed.’ I mean it is serious, dude fell on his face. But I think she was expecting to have a different tale.
No rose ceremony. Tonight, though, we’ll find out who was sent home. Get your wine glasses filled up and ready! The Bachelorette is on at 8|7c.
Lord help me, if someone mentions Arie one more time. Bring back the choir.
We are back! Becca is ready to do the damn thing! And she has a fun bunch of men that are going to make this season a good one. She also has a couple All-Stars.
Who got kicked off: Jake was sent home early, before the rose ceremony because Becca said they had met before and ran in the same social circles and there was no prior interest. The rest of the men in Red X’s were sent home night one.
Start of the episode Pep Talks Kaitlyn, JoJo and Rachel who have all been engaged for foreeever and still no wedding. No judgment. Came to help give her a pep talk. They did give a little tidbit that all three kissed their men they are with now on night one AND gave them their first impression rose.
Fun Facts About the Men
Jordan Male Model Jordan says it’s tough being a model. “There’s so much involved. You’ve got gym year round. You’ve got tan year round. It’s taxing.”
Jean Blanc is a cologne lover. He owns one that costs $1,200. And he owns fancy ties and fancy watches.
Chris brought a choir. Then just kind of left her out there while he went in the mansion.
First Impression Rose
Goes to Garrett who crushed the entrance and taught her fly flishing and reminded her of home. Take notes. This is how it’s done. He rolled up in a minivan complete with a carseat, diapers and soccer balls. When he taught her fly fishing the guys in the house were watching and one commented “I wonder if he’s catching anything.” Another so aptly responded, “Feelings.” Truth. Garrett got the first impression rose.
Clay our pro football player brought in actual clay so that they could do arts and crafts and she would remember his name. They made weird clay dolls of each other. It was cute.
Christon of the Globe Trotters had her hold a ball over her head and he dunked on her. It was incredible and made me want to see a Harlem Globe Trotters show. Like immediately.
Jake has had a transformative year. Becca told him, “We’ve hung out a couple times in the same circle. He never showed any interest. We’ve met multiple times and not have any interest. On either end there was kind of nothing.” Jake didn’t fight too hard to stay or deny he was there for the wrong reasons. So she sent him home.
Wills likes Harry Potter so much so that he has “Expecto Petronus” tattooed on his wrist, which in Latin means “I awaken a guardian.” Which obviously if you watch Harry Potter and have your own Petronus, you know.
Best Reaction Shots
I think this season is going to call for a new section dedicated to Jordan’s fun mind.
Jordanisms (n.): Wisdom by Jordan
“You know, I have a lot of love to give. And my love is like a little pot on top of the oven (steam whistle sounds). And then you know, the next thing you know is the pot’s steaming and it’s time to pour some tea.”
It’s time to pour some tea tonight at 8|7c pm on ABC.
“All fairytales aren’t told the same way.” – Chris Harrison. Thank you for the wisdom, Chris Harrison. Thank you for the wisdom.
It really was the most dramatic season of The Bachelor because they jampacked all that they could into the finale. Two proposals, a breakup that took houuuurs, a recounting of the aforementioned proposal and breakup, and a new season of The Bachelorette. Arie pulled a Mesnick.
If you grabbed a US Weekly before the finale you already knew what happened. Arie proposed to Becca. They then played about 2 hours of their subsequent breakup unedited that included Arie meeting Becca at their secret location and him letting her know he was still in love with Lauren and that he wanted to see where that went.
Prior to the proposal Arie said this was the biggest decision of his life about 1,000 times, which if you had that as a drinking game you would have been smashed 10 minutes in. Arie’s family met both girls, loved them both and seemed to swing toward Becca because she was a safe option. So Arie chose Becca. At the proposal, the top of the rose fell off of Becca’s final rose, like the whole thing flung right off and when she tried to say her full name with Arie’s last name it just lacked a ring to it. Pre-signs?
Who got kicked off: Lauren, JK Becca. Arie proposed to Becca. Dumped Becca. Went back to Lauren. And proposed to Lauren. And Becca is the new Bachelorette. Got all that?
Chris Harrison kept saying we had seen nothing like this before. But we have. With Jason Mesnick, who they brought out on After the Final Rose. I guess Chris Harrison was referring to the painstakingly long unedited break up scene behind the scenes. After the breakup, Becca flew home heartbroken AND IN THE MIDDLE SEAT on the plane. Now that is just cruel. Arie said he felt like a monster right now. The thing that makes you a monster is letting her fly in the middle seat! You could have at least offered to pay for her upgrade.
After the Final Rose
Bring ’em out, bring ’em out
Chris Harrison brought out Becca and then Arie and had a deep conversation. Becca handled it with such poise. ESPECIALLY because they made her come back for a second night and wear TWO different dresses for After The Final Rose, just because this season was so dramatic and they needed her there both nights. The poor girl. She better find love after all of this.
They aired clips of Arie flying to meet Lauren and them talking on the couch and her asking questions and him explaining. She asked if he was over Becca and he said, “1,000 percent.” WTF. YOU LITERALLY WERE JUST WITH BECCA, YOUR FINACE. I do not understand.
Lauren responded, “Well, you got me, duh. Just so you know I’m freaked out by engagement, but I’m hoping that doesn’t take that much longer.” Umm. OK. Whatever. I hope they’re happy in love.
Chris Harrison brought out the posse of Arie’s previous ladies to comment on what they saw. Usually those narrations are the worst, but they were actually super helpful this time. Go ladies. Kendall wished that Arie and Lauren found love. Bekah was like, ‘Lauren, dump his behind.’ And Seinne was smart and insightful. Caroline still thinks she was the one that was publicly broken up with and betrayed by Arie. I swear she thinks the breakup happened to her with how emotional it makes her. Tia gave the most helpful information, saying that Arie contacted Lauren on New Year’s just before the premiere of the show, 1 and 1/2 months after his engagement to Becca in Peru. The plot thickens. So Arie had an idea that there was still a possibility with Lauren before he broke up with Becca.
Arie did say he wanted the breakup to be televised so that Bachelor Nation could see that it was on him for the breakup. Take that for what you will.
Best Quote: Kendall still remains the best bachelorette. She commented that she was fine that they showed the breakup because it showed her how strong Becca was. Always seeing the unique, bright side, that one.
The posse also vouched for Becca as one of the kindest bachelorettes they knew and so deserving of love and ready to give it.
Then Chris Harrison brought out Arie and Lauren. Lauren announced she was moving to Arizona to be with him. And Arie in true Arie fashion proposed to Lauren publicly on stage with Becca in the wings and his and Lauren’s parents there at After the Final Rose. Lauren said yes. So there’s that.
Fun Fact Funding
Bachelor Nation is amazing and started to Venmo Becca to buy her a drink for the breakup she was put through. According to Chris Harrison and Popsugar.com, Becca’s fans started to Venmo her “F*ck Arie Wine Money.” This. Is. Genius. And hilarious. Becca’s Venmo account has reached over $6,000 with contributions of well wishes. BuzzFeed captured a few of the best. Becca, the queen that she is, is donating it to Stand Up to Cancer. Chris Harrison vowed that ABC would match it. Boom.
There have been a few faux accounts that have popped up, so make sure if you contribute to the wine fund, you do it to the right handle. The one with all the comments. @RebeccaKufrin
Chris Harrison also surprised Becca with an announcement of his own. She was about to meet her men that night!
The newest Bachelorette is Becca!
“I felt like my future was ripped out from under me.” To get a better one!
Becca’s Preview of Men: What you need to know
Lincoln Accent and ripped. His intro, “I’m blushing, but you can’t tell for obvious reasons.”
Chase Wasn’t super memorable, but he was there.
Ryan Entertained with a banjo, and he’s pretty good. He’s quirky just like her.
Darius Apologized on behalf of his gender.
Blake Brought a horse named Bradley, saying “When you fall off the horse you gotta get back up again. I want to be the man to help you get back up again.” Umm, adorbs. And kudos to Bradley for keeping it chill in front of a live studio audience. What a stud.
Premiere of The Bachelorette is May 28.
After After the Final Rose. Arie and Lauren are living it up on Twitter. So much for staying off of social media. That boils my blood. Where’s the wine fund?! They look happy in love, though and took Jason and Molly Mesnick’s advice and got the heck outta dodge.
Full cast includes players from Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China, Finland, United Kingdom, Sweden, and Canada.
Premise: There is not much detail on the ABC blog other than that Bachelors and Bachelorettes from around the world will compete with each other in faux Olympic Games, representing their country and in the most trying sport: love. A preview of the games include winter biathlon, speed skating, and ice dancing with date cards given to the challenge winners. Love triangles, tears and challenges abound.
Best Part: Ashley I is back! And in full Ashley I. force. Let’s see who friend zones her and who she falls in love with. Who doesn’t love watching Ashley I. find love?
Back in the day I blogged about the German Bachelorette. So this Winter Games is that times 10 and mixed with all of the other Bachelors and Bachelorettes from the international shows. It sounds like a mash of Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelor Pad for a shortened period of time.
I think my TV is broken. Rachel are you still keeping it 100? Is this real life? Someone pass me the wine.
Congrats to the happy couple, Rachel and Bryan!
Rachel Lindsay chose Bryan in the rolling hills of La Rioja, Spain.
In an unprecedented season finale, ABC did a live show interspersed with the finale, so there was no After the Final Rose, yet it was a 3-hour event. Rachel was brought out with Chris Harrison at a live studio audience to watch the final episode and then bring out live the guy she sent home after they watched her send him home on TV. Follow me? It was super uncomfortable and I thought she’d spill the beans! Rachel chose 37-year-old chiropractor, mama’s boy, first impression rose man from Florida, Bryan. I’m still with Rachel’s mom and pop on this one and question what Rachel is doing. The breakup with Peter seemed to suggest she was deeply in love with him. As long as you’re happy Rachel, you do you Boo.
Who got kicked off: Eric and Peter were sent home. Ericwas sent home at the rose ceremony, and Peter was sent home in a tear-filled good-bye before she had her final rose ceremony.
Eric got kicked off at the rose ceremony, leaving Bryan and Peter as the final two men. Rachel didn’t know if he was ready for marriage and her other relationships were stronger. Eric’s doing great. He’s opens and ready to receive love.
Peter and Rachel had the most heartwrenching breakup on Bachelor Franchise history. They kept having very well-spoken, intellectual conversations about why they loved each other and yet why it wasn’t working. It seemed like it was because Peter wasn’t able to propose yet because he saw that as a direct reflection of marriage, yet he loved her so deeply and didn’t want to let her go, whereas Rachel wanted a proposal and husband out of the deal, not a boyfriend and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get to that step. There were a lot of emotions flying around and big tears. In the end Rachel broke up with him at the hotel room the night before the ceremony because it reminded her of the complicated relationships she’s had in the past. She wanted someone who was sure and confident in her. She gave him a long kiss and told him she loved him and there were so many tears. It really seemed like she loved him. At the live re-meeting, Peter still had some feelings for Rachel.
Rachel seems to be happy in love. Her family is still skeptical. After dating for a few months in private, Bryan was reunited with Rachel on the show. And now they’re touring around making appearances.
Bachelor in Paradise Preview
Our man Dean is going to be on Bachelor in Paradise and previews show us he has two ladies’ hearts in his hands. All of your favorites are there, Raven, the Canadian man that I think only goes to Bachelor in Paradise for a living, and The Twins! I’m so excited they’re back.
Will you be watching Bachelor in Paradise?? The season premiere begins next week in a two-night event, Monday, August 14th and Tuesday, August 15th 8|7c.