after paradise, are they still together, astrid and kevin, bachelor in paradise, grocery store joe, jenna and jordan, kelly keegs, kendall long, krystal and chris, recap, the bachelor in paradise, venmo john, who got kicked off last night, who got sent home last night, who was sent home, who went home
Where is the love? No, but seriously, where is the love? Jordan and Jenna are the only love Birds of the season Engaged And the Internet is Out to Get Them.
We should just skip to the good stuff, because sh*t hit the fan after Paradise and this is what you need to know.
The Hero of Paradise is obviously Venmo John. He went on the most dates, had the most kisses and left happily, after having had a wonderful vacation in Mexico. I bow down to his wit and wherewithal. Well done, sir. Well done. Olivia got mad at him at the live show because he was talking to Chelsea at the same time he was facetiming with her. Like girl, you spent one day together and maybe another hour. He is not committed to you. That was obvious when you both left Paradise before the Fantasy Suite dates. Ain’t no reason to be mad, Olivia. He didn’t propose. You do you, Venmo John. Never forget, Venmo John.
Jordan and David Update:The pair made up now that Jordan is all happy in love and they survived Paradise together.
Kevin and Astrid: Kevin and Astrid broke up before the Fantasy Suite Dates. Well, Kevin broke up with Astrid because of his insecurities. He regretted it later and they kept talking a little. At the after Paradise show, he apologized in person and asked her back. Her trust was broken, but due to some Chris Harrison finagling and questioning they came to the conclusion that they both love each other. And to the overwhelming happiness of Bachelor Nation fans everywhere, Astrid and Kevin posted a surprise Instagram and Twitter photo of Astrid in Canada with Kevin watching the after Paradise show, showing they were still together after it all! Yay!
Tia and Colton and The Bachelor: Tia wishes Colton well on his Bachelor journey and says she is happy for him, and no one understands why. Colton has no idea what he wants. Anywho, Tia and Colton are on their own paths.
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Never ever regret following your heart. Things may not always work out as you planned, but they always work out as they should. Thankful that this chapter of our lives has ended so new chapters can begin. I truly wish you the best, C. #peaceoutparadise #hotdogsforever #thankseleven
Krystal and Chris: Chris proposed to Krystal on Bachelor in Paradise and post-paradise he met the two doggies that are most important to Krystal and they went on their merry way. The most important takeaway from their relationship is that their MOMS are completely identical – in personality. Definitely sisters from another time period. Like just look. Also, fun fact, once Chris proposed he called his mom and told her he was engaged and showed her Krystal. His mom’s response, “Is that Krystal?” in a judgey way. Yes, judgement was present, I assure you. But now they’re besties, so yay.
Kendall and Grocery Store Joe Kendall broke Joe’s heart in Paradise the night before the fantasy suite dates. She realized what mistake she was making and that she did care for him. She flew out to Chicago (with a camera crew in tow) and asked to be taken back by Joe. And Joe was like dude my trust has been broken. And America was like yeah Grocery Store Joe, preach it! He ended up taking her back and they are doing the long distance thing from Los Angeles to Chicago. Kendall was like, “Wow, I could be running away from some of the best things that have ever happened to me.” Homegirl in the audience was like, YUP, preach sistah.
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Wowza, what a crazy adventure! Love is an odd yet wonderful mess that makes those effected do quite strange things but through it all I would do it again and again and again if it meant waking up next to this odd-ball of a human every morning. I love you mucho Joe! And am excited to be challenged by you through every step of this experience we call life 💕🤪
Chris Harrison said he had the solution for Kendall and Joe’s affliction and I was like, ‘Yes! He bought Grocery Store Joe a grocery store in Los Angeles or a Trader Joe’s!’ But nay, Chris Harrison did the complete opposite of that. He got Joe a spot on Dancing With the Stars, the show where Bachelor relationships go to die – take Chris Soules for example, or Nick Viall. The worst possible thing! Plus, you just know he’s going to get kicked off week one. Terrible idea, Chris Harrison. I’m disappointed in you.
Kamil and Annaliese Kamil is the biggest buttmunch we already believed to be true. My thoughts are he needed a sure thing in Paradise to get a little booty and then he hit the real world only to drop Annaliese to get other booty. Not only that, he pulled an Arie and broke up with Annaliese at the after Paradise live show, to her complete blindsided chagrin. Kamil and Arie are probably out having fancy drinks in NYC together talking fancy things and laughing about the way they dumped their exes on national television. The worst.
Annaliese left the stage and cried backstage. Backtrack to at the proposal in Mexico in Paradise, Annaliese told Kamil that she saw his soul after only a few days? First red flag. At the proposal, cut to Annaliese: I want more than anything for him to propose and we can get on to the future with babies and a wedding. I’m so ready. Cut to Kamil: I think that we need to take this slow to make it work outside of Paradise. Cut to Annaliese: I completely agree. Ummm, no you don’t, Annaliese, no you don’t. Second red flag. This had to be a sign they were not on the same track.
After Annaliese left the stage, bawled her eyes out backstage, and returned with fury letting the audience know they had booked an AirBnB together two days ago and that she had sent flowers to his mom and that Kamil wasn’t trying. Later, Kamil and Annaliese sat down together in the back studio and Kamil tried to explain his non-sensical reasoning that he just wasn’t feeling it and he wanted to do it in person in front of a million people and a live audience. Balls. He was like, “I think we need to slowly part ways.” Ummm, girl run.
This breakup was what prompted Tia to point and say supportively, “Yes, bitch, yes.” One thing Annaliese said was, “When they (meaning the other person in the relationship) end it in a crappy way it’s better because then you can hate them, you know what I mean.” Yes, Annaliese, yes. Also, her catch phrase needs to be “You know what I mean?” All she wants is to be married and it is APPARENT. Like sirens and bells and lights going off all around her. Girl needs to chill. Love will come. Just don’t be cray. You can’t say the signs and red flags weren’t there.
Jenna and Jordan asked Chris Harrison to officiate their wedding on June 6th, which I can only assume is the premier of Bachelor in Paradise Season 6.
Also, there have been allegations that Jenna does not in fact love Jordan and it’s all a falsehood. But to be honest it doesn’t sound like her and Jenna Cooper is getting her lawyers on the case. E! Online has the story. And here is Jenna’s post from Instagram.
Wells and Yuki Wells and Yuki were the bartenders of the season. As we’ll remember Wells is dating one of the daughters from Modern Family (Sarah Hyland). For reals, she reached out to him on Twitter and they’ve been dating ever since. They’re super weird, you should follow them.
Best Quote of the Night: John when he was in the car with Olivia on the way home after Paradise and the seatbelts kept getting stuck and not working. “The universe is against safety right now.” That kid.
Tweets of the Night: Solely from Jenna Cooper and her fans in support of her relationship and vision board with Jordan. #longlivethenameTucker (Backstory: Jenna adores the name Tucker and Jordan despises the name Tucker when they were talking about what baby names they would choose.)
Chris Harrison is still awesome and this season of Bachelor in Paradise was suuuuper interesting. And I think the only real love that blossomed from it was Jordan and Jenna, not sure about the others. I’m setting the countdown on those…
As you can see all of the things hit the fan. Good thing we have a few months to recover because The Bachelor starts January with Colton as the bachelor.
In other news, little Bekah Martinez is preggers with a baby with her boyfriend Grayston Leonard and was super mean and posted a photo with other Becca (Becca Kufrin) about being pregnant and no one knows who is who and that’s just confusing, but I dug around for you. Little Bekah (one on the floor) is in fact the expecting mama.
The Bachelor starts in January! Until then, Bachelor Fans. Keep a look out for a podcast coming soon to a station near you.
Also, Castaway is a thing that is still happening. Learned a little more about it, in that you either wait to get off the island by the rescue team at an unspecified date or you quit. So there’s that. That and the Proposal recaps are coming quickly at you. Well, not Castaway because I still don’t get it. But Proposal recaps of who is still together after proposing to a person after one hour. Their Instagram has some updates on who is still together and who called it quits. Good stuff. Happy viewing, Bachelor Fans!
If you only watch one episode this entire season of Bachelor in Paradise, let it be this one (like specifically the Tuesday night episode). Krystal was actually hilarious. She saged the girls after a night of bad juju from Jordan’s anger. She also had the most hilarious quote thus far this season. Kudos to Krystal.
Krystal in response to Jordan throwing the giant dog in the ocean: “Dude! You can’t litter.” Yas, queen, yas.
Joe corrected Wells saying Jordan actually choked out the giant dog and then threw it into the ocean. I love Joe.
Speaking of Joe. Kendall is all torn and confused when Leo rolls into town. Kendall and Leo both live in LA. He’s like a real-life Fabio with that hair. Kendall has a connection with Joe, but I don’t think he gets her all hot and bothered like Leo. That will fade, Kendall! TeamJoe. Grocery Store Joe. Forever and always. That smile.
Chelsea is throwing it out on the table. All of her cards, just right there for all to see. I’ve never seen her so flustered when Leo walked in to town. Leo noticed this and immediately went to her after his date with Kendall. He also talked to Analiese. He’s making the rounds.
Leo and Kendall went on a date to a pool where they had a photo shoot for the cover of a romance novel. Kendall was surprised to learn that she was the only one to call Leo the cover of a romance novel.
The romance novel was shot with all of these old bachelor and bachelorettes to come play a part. It was terrible. Arie will never leave. This annoyed me. No one cares. You may fast forward through this part of the episode.
Back to Jordan. His outfit was the best and received many a funny comment. One said the outfit reminded her of the monkey from Aladdin. Another Malibu Ken. Which is accurate and so funny. Caroline received props for making that connection and the monologue that followed, saying, “Chill out, Malibu Ken. It’s all going to be ok. We’ll drive back in your Malibu Ken mobile and it’ll be alright.” Or something like that. Seriously, watch the episode and you don’t even have to know what’s been going on up to that point and you’ll be so happy you did.
Best Part of the Episode is when Jordan and Joe are talking on the couch together and Joe describes Kendall’s date she had with Leo to Jordan. Two little peas in a pod.
Joe: I don’t like that. Do you like that?
Jordan: No, I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. What did they do on the date?
Joe: They re-enacted a romantic novel.
Jordan: Pauses. Smiles. Tries to hold in his laughter. Can’t and says, “I’m sorry, but how the *bleep* do you do that?”
Joe laughs. It’s hilarious. Jordan bursts out laughing in the best authentic laugh I’ve heard all season. I’ll post it below.
Jordan and Joe Another Great Moment
When Leo gets back from Kendall’s date, Jordan narrates: “Leo is talking to every girl here right now. I din’t know how their date went, but he seems to be in a good place. Joe is drinking.”
Jordanisms 1. Bachelor in Paradise 0.
Also Jordan about Leo: “He can’t just come in here and destroy the community.”
Jordanisms 2. Bachelor in Paradise 0.
Jordan: “I’m not delirious. I’m hydrated and well-fed.
Jordanisms 3. Bachelor in Paradise 0.
Jordan, Joe, and Chris all sitting by the pool. Chris to Joe (about Kendall going on a date with Leo): You have diamond blue eyes. How could she not like you.
Joe to Chris: My eyes are green. (pause) But y’know they fluctuate.
And that is why America fell in love with Grocery Store Joe. Also, random thought. Every bartender should have a drink-themed name. Wells has well drinks. Yuki we’ll get back to.
Benoit, the Canadian who proposed to crazy Claire on Bachelor Winter Games, is back for love and finding another blonde lady. And he’s out to steal Jordan’s girl. David was just messing with Jordan when he gave a giant stuffed dog gift to Jenna, because David is crazy. But Benoit is actually ready to steal Jenna from Jordan. He took Jenna on a date and wooed her with his French and French kissing in the street. He carried her. She carried him. It was sweet. Malibu Ken wrote her a giant apology in the sandy beach when Jenna returned from her date.
Date Cards went to Colton who took Tia. And to Leo who took Kendall on a date. And Benoit who took Jenna.
Raven, Tia’s best friend showed up on the date and made Tia look at the hard stuff. Dude! She finally just got her man! Let her live, Raven! Tia cried to Colton again. In the end Colton asked Tia to be his girlfriend. So yay, Raven.
Raven also had the best quote of the night, because honey don’t play: “But if this ends badly, I’m gonna cut his penis off and he can’t ever lose his virginity.” And I don’t doubt that for one second. As we’ll remember, Raven is the one that came in with the story about an ex-boyfriend that she caught cheating with someone else and threw a stiletto at him and his lover. I hear she has good aim. Back woods Raven may be coming out.
Even Yuki who speaks a few words of English is like Why the eff aren’t Colton and Tia a couple? Yes, Yuki, yes.
And Jenna with the sweetest quote: “I want to find love. I just don’t want it to get taken away.” Bring it in, sister.
Couples you need to know about: Astrid and Kevin the Canadian. Angela and Eric. Chelsea has been choosing David for some unkown reason. Analiese and Kenny. Krystal and ?. John and Jubilee. Colton and Tia. Chris and Krystal.
Love Triangles Kendall and Joe and now Leo. Jordan and Jenna and now Benoit.
Also, let’s never forget, Bibiana, the true hero of paradise. The coach bringing people together. May she find love outside of Mexico.
John is telling Chelsea some jokes. And some go over her head, but John is so sweet to continue pressing on. He’s actually pretty hilarious. Yes, I had doubts! But you’ve won me over Venmo the Brains John! Jokes:
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“Ask me if I wear deodorant.” Do you wear deodorant? “Sure.”
“Ask me again.” Do you wear deodorant? *lowers voice* “It’s a secret.”
Tweets from All the Episodes: Mostly dedicated to Grocery Store Joe and Jenna because they bring joy and happiness to all. Jenna was referring to her not really there bikini and then killing it on social. Joe’s is in reference to Chris trying to play the field and using a pick-up line on Krystal.
There wasn’t a rose ceremony last week. This week the ladies have the roses and are handing them out to the men.
Hurricane Leo rolled in to town and it’s about to get soaked with crazy tonight! Tune in at 8|7c Monday and Tuesday on ABC for Bachelor in Paradise.
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Congratulations to Becca and Garrett!
Congratulations to Becca’s dad! *Ahem* I mean Garrett!! Becca chose Garrett to spend her happily ever after with and be the one man she said “I love you” to.
Photo Credit: Fabulously angled and taken shots by yours truly via TV.
Who got kicked off: Blake was sent home after pouring his heart out to Becca and she did not return the feelings of love.
Is giant. Looking up the carat count as we speak because I NEED TO KNOW the size of this Neil Lane rock. PEOPLE.com always has my back. The ring is an 18-carat gold sparkler with 4 carat diamonds the size of my fist.
All About the Gold (Yes, Gold!) Engagement Ring Garrett Yrigoyen Gave Bachelorette Becca Kufrin By PEOPLE.com
After the Final Rose
Becca talked about her journey to finding love and was so giddy to introduce Garrett as her fiancé.
Becca and Garrett addressing the Twitter backlash from Ashley Spivey on Garrett’s previous Instagram likes. Becca’s face: Eeek, yeah that wasn’t great to get through…
Happily Ever After in a Wood-Paneled Station Wagon
Chris Harrison and ABC gifted them a wood-paneled station wagon to drive away in, complete with all the gear needed to be a happy couple and future parents. This was a throwback to he minivan full of soccer balls, diapers, and a car seat that Garrett pulled up in night one at the mansion to meet Becca and drive away with her heart. The beginning of their love story.
Photo Credit: Instagram Becca Kufrin @bkook
We threw the most epic Bachelorette Watch Party! Check out Occassional Brilliance by the one and only talented and creative friend, Jess at her Instagram @Jessica1317. Get some ideas for your Bachelorette viewing parties! And or Bachelor in Paradise parties coming up. Send me your suggestions in the contact section! I love to hear from you!
- Team Blake and Garrett pennant flags? (Because this is a game dammit!) Check
- Jalapeño Poppers + Snacks? (Because it’s about to get spicy up in here!) Check
- Wine, wine and more wine? Check
- Perfectly framed portrait of Becca? Check
- Hand-crafted paper roses by the one and only Jess? Check
- Bachelorette banner with a rose? Check
- Signs that read: Will you accept this rosé
- Shirts that say “Let’s Do the Damn Thing!”? Check (These were compliments of another friend’s biz)
- Ecstatic friends ready to cheer for their favorite dude? Check
What other items would be on your list? I’ve seen some epic cupcakes with rose blossoms on them. They cannot compare to my jalapeño poppers, but they can try. Send me a pic of your Bachelorette viewing party and I will try to feature it on here!
Bachelor in Paradise has begun. And. It. Is. Amazing. Tia is there for Colton. Jenna is back and causing all kinds of crazy trouble. And Wells and Yuki are serving up cocktails.
Bachelor in Paradise is every Monday and Tuesday night at 8 | 7pm central. Recaps coming soon to a belated-and-heavily-behind-abandoned-content-calendar by yours truly. Love you all!
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The Men Tell All. Two Guys You Don’t Remember. Gold Underwear. Style by Wills. And Tinder Matches.
The greatest moments of Men Tell All go to Wills’ reactions. Wills is a hero and a scholar and keeping it real the whole time. Meanwhile, Jordan is being Jordan and picked fights with two guys no one remembers from night one but really wanted to have their moment in the sun.
Quotes of the Night:
In the words of Rachel, Jason is keeping it 100. He rebuked Jean Blanc when Jean Blanc told Becca he loved her and then essentially took it back because he thought that was just what she had wanted to hear at the time. “Love is a powerful emotion and when someone uses that in need I have no respect for them. And Jean Blanc, you used it in need.” Mic Drop. Boom. We Out.
Leo to Jordan “You’re a modern day narcissist and you fell in love with yourself a long time ago.” Word. Ugh, I can’t wait for you to be on Bachelor in Paradise Leo! You da best.
Jordan “I should have worn a war vest.” I would like to know what a war vest is? Is it like a shield? A bullet proof vest? Just curious. Jordan likes to say that he owns space in people’s minds, real estate, billboards, the like.
Christon waving away all the heat coming at Jordan for busting out his gold underwear on a date. “That got him a rose who cares.” Christon is also keeping it 100.
Jordan Again “Are you gonna fall in or jump?” Jordan to David. And if you watch, please just rewind and forward Wills’ and Jason’s reactions to that comment because it is probably the best moment of the whole show.
In the Hot Seat
Jordan, Jordan, Jordan
“I wish we could get my portfolio out.” He was wearing his golden underwear.
Joe the Grocery Store Guy got one highlight reel. How was your experience? Pretty bad. I went home night one. *insert million dollar watt smile here*
Joe’s response to Chris Harrison’s question when fans come up to Joe, “They just wanna take pictures.” Sweet, sweet Joe is going to Paradise! And I see a little flirtation between him and Kendall!
Wills is a graphic designer and a style guru. He fell in love with Becca and was the winner of the night with his style, poise and reactions to all of the stuff the other men said.
Colton cried a little about the flack he got for being a virgin. I think he is on a podcast with Ashley I. and they discuss this together. I will find it for you and post it here.
Kamil and Cristian brought it on with Jordan. If you don’t remember Kamil and Cristian from night one, you don’t need to. They are side characters that ring no bells. Kamil was a douche-bag that made Becca come 80% of the way to greet him when he got out of the limo. WTF. No. Ummm Becca is the Bachelorette. You should greet her. We do not like him. Those two night one rejects, called Jordan basic. Jordan fired back with endless pokes at them saying no one knew them.
Jordan’s favorite moment was watching his highlight reel. His smile was ear to ear. “He’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.” – Becca. Us too, Becca. Us too.
Leo, because let’s be real is probably the real secret double 007, laughed at Jordan’s double 007 comment: “I’m not a double 007 guy all the time.”
Chris Harrison addressed Crazy Chris Chandler’s Secret Roommate on Friends Chris:
Chris Harrison: “Chis, what happened?”
Chris: Honestly responds with “The wheels fell off.”
Chris is on Bachelor in Paradise so I’m excited to see where that goes. Previews show him and Tiara.
Favorite, Favorite Quote:
After his arguments with Kamil and Cristian, Jordan got up and pointed at each of the Bachelors and assessed all the guys, saying, “You’re alright, you’re alright, you suck you suck, Grocery Store Joe, what’s up!” And gave Grocery Store Joe a high five.
The Recap Reel
ABC played a video of the season and all the drama and discord.
Wills blew Chris a kiss during the recap video when they had a little spat when Chris went off the rails for a bit. Adorbs.
Bachelor in Paradise
Chris Harrison promises a most dramatic season yet. If you are watching it is every Monday and Tuesday night. So be prepared to give up your first half of your weeks, or just read up on my belated-aiming-for-on-time recaps!
Cast so far: Eric, Krystal, Kendall and Bibiana, Leo, Joe the Grocer, John the Venmo guy, Colton, Tia, Annaliese the crier, Caroline, Jubilee, Jenna, Dave, Jordan (let the feud continue!), Astrid, Chelsea, Chris, Connor, Jenna, Kenny the wrestler, Kevin the Canadian, Nick, Nysha, Yuki (as bartender), Wells (as bartender)
Yuki is back as a bartender helper!
Things I’m not looking forward to in Paradise: Jordan and David
Takeaway everyone loves Becca who is apparently super good at bringing closure to the dudes, and Chris brought back the choir to apologize for his behavior on the show. Amazing.
Chris Harrison our man. On the debate date in Virginia, Chris told a young girl in the crowd, “This is actually what happens if you drop out of school.”
John did math on Jordan’s claimed Tinder match rate and it was epic. The average match rate assumed is 7. So assume 10 percent chance of 11 matches means needed to per day view 1,000 people…or something like that. “That’s bigger than the population of Orlando!” John announces!
Best Men Tell All ever.
All of the fantasy suite dates and Hometowns.
This is long overdue, but hometowns are my favorite so here we go! Becca and the men went to Thailand for the Fantasy Suite Dates.
Who got kicked off: Colton and Jason were sent home, making Garrett and Blake our final two guys standing.
Blake had some formative years in high school. His mom dated one of his other teachers. (And his mom was like thanks for sharing that with the world, son.) His school was involved in a school shooting. Blake got deep. We went down memory lane classroom to classroom meeting some of his mentors. Also, Blake’s math is wrong because high school could not have been only 7 years ago or he would have been an old high schooler. The best part was when he surprised Becca in the auditorium with her favorite singer, Betty Who. Betty Who brought them on stage and Becca fangirled. “I’m the man who looks for a reason to stay, not for a reason to go.” – Blake
Garrett and Becca planted tomatoes on his family’s agricultural farm. Garrett still reminds Becca of her dad. Garrett also had a rose bush on hand so they could plant it, and he could give her all of the roses. The family loved Becca.
Jason brought Becca to a wing-eating contest and introduced her to the fam bam. Everyone loved her and Jason’s brother encouraged Jason to tell Becca how he was feeling about being in love with her. He also took her to the hockey rink and showed off his moves. Jason was talking about chemistry in love and on the hockey rink. So poetic that one. He wins for most quotable these two episodes. “The slightest change in the lineup can change the dynamic of the team.” “I will always leave rooting for her happiness.”
Colton took her to his charity. They went shopping for gifts for some of the kids in the hospital that his charity for cystic fibrosis supports. Colton’s dad told Becca if she knew she wasn’t feeling it with Colton to let him go sooner rather than later.
Tia and the ladies came back again. I have no idea why. Caroline still thinks this show is about her. “They’re both my friends. And my heart breaks.” – Caroline. Tia told Becca she still had feelings for Colton. (Sneak preview of Paradise shows us that Tia goes to Bachelor in Paradise to get Colton back!) Becca sent Colton home that night.
FANTASY SUITE DATES RECAP
Blake got a fantasy suite date. Garrett got a fantasy suite date. Jason did not. BUT Jason did bring the scrapbook back. SO we still love Jason. Becca got in her head on their date, which is supposed to be romantic and fancy free. Instead she made a comment about putting something in their home, but she was really just referring to herself and then she felt obligated to include Jason. And her mind went bonkers and was like I can’t see a future with this guy. And she WALKED AWAY. Twice on the date. Girl is stressing so much. I mean I get it, it’s her whole life. Then she said she did to him what Arie did to her, meaning she blindsided him and sent him home at dinner without a really great explanation as to why she couldn’t see it with him. Arie is getting way too much screentime without even being present this season.
Garrett’s Date fell on a Thai national holiday and it was awesome. Becca was so stressed, but tried to hide it. “I’m having the best time.” – Becca. Becca and Garrett went bamboo rafting down the river together. There were so many people and other rafters and elephants in the water. Garrett told her he loved her at dinner, which is what Becca has been waiting to hear. They slept in a treehouse under the stars. “When I see Garrett I see my heart’s equal.” – Becca
Blake’s Date involved no kissing or touching on a hike to a buddhist temple. They learned what made love last. They rang a bell to declare their love. And then they had a dinner where they could finally touch and kiss and their overnight looked fun.
Jason’s Date as we’ll remember ended early at dinner when Becca sent him home. She excused herself from the table and then came back and said she couldn’t see a future with them. Later in the episode, Jason came back to the hotel to get some clarity and to give her a scrapbook he had intended to give her on the Fantasy Suite date. Hearts breaking everywhere.
Castaway show preview comes on every week. Again, can someone explain the purpose of this to me? I understand someone wanting to get away and reflect, but that’s what yoga retreats and Bali are for. Not going on an island with no resources and no cash money at the end. At least Eat Pray Love you bring a backpack with resources and self-reflection in it.
Men Tell All is tomorrow (July 30) and the finale is in two weeks! Who do you think it’s going to be? Garrett or Blake?
Bachelor in Paradise starts Tuesday, August 7th at 8|7c.
becca kufrin, The Bachelorette, who got kicked off, who got kicked off last night, who got kicked off the bachelorette, who got sent home last night, who is left on the bachelorette, who was eliminated, who was sent home, who went home
Fantasy Suite Dates in Thailand
The group headed to Thailand to find love.
Who got kicked off: Jason was sent home before the Fantasy Suite. After a day together, Becca sent him home at dinner saying that she didn’t see a future with him. Jason came back to get some clarity and drop off a scrapbook. Tears.
Jason is back to say last minute things and get some clarity. He had a scrapbook of their story that he was going to give her on their fantasy suite dates. He is so sweet. Hearts breaking everywhere. Not only that he left saying, “I’ll always be rooting for her happiness.” Like swoon.
“The world needs more Jasons.” – Becca “He deserves the best and she is going to have to treat him like a king.” – Becca in reference to the girl that gets Jason’s heart.
Becca and her final two men are headed to Maldives to have one final date and meet Becca’s family before she hands out the final rose.
Hometowns! Tia still likes Colton. Colton told Becca he was in love with Becca. Colton is going home.
Who got kicked off: Colton will be skipping out on the Fantasy Suite Dates. He was sent home at the rose ceremony. He told Chris Harrison he was nervous about the Fantasy Suite Dates, but didn’t really need for worry.
Becca planted tomatoes and a rose bush with Garrett; she had a chicken wing eating contest with Jason along with hockey playing; she visited the Children’s Hospital for Colton’s non-profit; she had a surprise concert in Blake’s high school auditorium of her favorite band. All of the Bachelors families were lovely despite what the previews would have you believe.
Becca invited her ladies back on the show, including Tia who told Becca she still liked Colton. Tia what are you doing? Colton went home because Becca wasn’t feeling it as much with him and Colton’s Dad told her to let him go earlier if she wasn’t feeling it so as not to crush his heart.
Giving Tia looks like what.
Fantasy Suite Dates are next week!
Full recap to follow.
I’m Back from Hiatus! On to Hometowns! Please Don’t Leave Me!
I’m the worst and took a hiatus on vacay without having a sub-blogger. Never again. Next time, nominating someone to do a blog takeover. And as reparation I’m going to look up every cast member from Bachelor in Paradise and every couple that gets engaged on The Proposal and track them for many years to come. And forego wine. Who am I kidding I can’t give up wine. Only for you. You may also leave comments of reparation suggestions in the comments. But for reals. Please don’t leave me. Hometowns are happening tonight! Becca is taking this process all too seriously. I hope the girl gets to have fun at some point.
Richmond, Virginia (Week 6) and the Bahamas (Week 7). Becca struggled to find words to describe Virginia…”The air is nice…the mix of the old and the new…it’s different from Vegas.” What she should have said is an intern suggested this location solely based on the fact that “Virginia is for lovers,” and Philly, the city of brotherly love, has been done before and Virginia is budget-friendly and we can get the Governor of the Commonwealth! So here we are.
Who got kicked off: Week 6 Lincoln, Chris and Connor were sent home. Week 7 Leo and Wills were sent home. Crazy Chris went to Becca’s suite and I feel like was very adversarial and got sent home. Leo was left on an island in the Bahamas on a 3 on 1 date. And Wills asked to pull the car over so he could let out his sadness.
Jason got a one-on-one date and he was a true sport. I don’t know what is up with Becca an making these dates not fun. She took Jason to a Gothic un-happy hour party at St. John’s Church. Like what? But they decorated donuts first so I guess it’s alright? No thank you. Pass pass pass, double pass. They cheers-ed to “May you be unhappy ever more.” Also, Jason can bend it like Beckham and got pretty far in the splits because that was also casually part of the date. Get after it, Jason. The best part of the date was that Becca flew out Jason’s friends from NYC and they all sat around and had beers together. They also had a private party trolley so that was cool and a concert by Morgan Evans.
The Group Date was equally awko-taco. They had a debate in the commonwealth. And apparently the Governor of the Commonwealth had nothing better to do than to host a debate among the bachelors for The Bachelorette. Anything Colton said, Becca swooned. He could have said my favorite color is red and she would have passed out cold. Lincoln and Chris got into it at the debate. It was super awkward. We knew this would happen, though. The signs were there for Chris.
Best Quote: Chris about Lincoln: “Lincoln is a monster…the man eats 12 eggs a day! His cholesterol has to be through the roof.” True story. Stay safe, kids.
Leo got a one-on-one date to survive another week, only to be let go the next week. They shucked oysters. Meanwhile, Becca was emotionally drained by the debate. She seems to get emotionally drained a lot. She reeeeally wants this to work and win at the break-up game. Rooting for her, but she’s gotta let loose and let love in!
No cocktail hour. Connor, Lincoln and Chris were sent home. Chris because he went to her room and was not on the same page as Becca.
And the Bahamas (Week 7) at the Baha Mar Hotel
Colton got the first one-on-one date to everyone’s chagrin. He told Becca he was a virgin. And Becca WALKED AWAY. Like left him awkwardly sitting at the table. And then she came back and then asks him how he’s doing. My guess is not well, Becca. She told him he’s given her a lot to think about. They had spent the day harvesting conch shells making various conch related innuendos.
Garrett got a one-on-one and Becca grilled him on his ex-wife and if Garrett loved the process versus Becca. Girl is asking the hard questions. Get. It. Becca.
Jimmy Kimmel read the tweets tweeters posted when Trump interrupted The Bachelorette to announce the Supreme Court Justice. One was, “I don’t care who is the next Supreme Court Justice, but I do care who gets this mother effin’ rose.”
Blake got a one-on-one date. Blake gets all the cool dates. They had a beach party where they danced. Blake talked about his parents’ divorce and mom’s affair in a small town. Blake told Becca that he loved her. Different from falling in love with her. Now, he’s there. He’s in love. Blake got a rose and is headed to hometowns.
Becca said of Blake, “My heart recognizes his. All I want to do is tell him I’m in love with him.” I think they’re setting us up for failure and sadness.
Wills, Jason and Leo had a Three-on-One Date. I’m kind of disappointed. I would have liked to know what would have happened at Leo’s hometown date and if stuntman stunts would have been involved and now we’ll never know. Ugh, Leo’s good-bye was so hard. For me. He’s so great! Becca said good-bye to him on the beach and took Jason and Wills to the afterparty. Becca grilled Jason saying that the other men are more vocal than him. Jason was very articulate. And Becca was like from here on out my person and I have to be on the same page. I feel like that was a tilt toward Jason, but whatevs. And then our hearts broke all over again when Wills asked to get out of the car so he could cry. It was no Jake Pavelka and Jason Mesnik lean over the railing but it was a close second.
Making it to Hometowns TONIGHT: Blake, Colton, Garrett, Jason
The Proposal TV Show: Some Thoughts
Man from Louisiana Episode: The 27-year-old man from Louisiana chose the 22-year-old-college-sophomore-guitar-playing lady also from Louisiana. He said it’s crazy how he had to fly to California to meet the girl that was in his backyard. Love me the Louisiana folk. The ladies on the episode kept talking about how they believe in this process. This is the first season of the show. They’ve literally never seen this before. No episodes have aired prior to theirs. How do they know this process works and that they can believe in it? I do not understand. Pageant fail.
Also, host Jesse always has the ladies leave by telling them there is nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t think that was in their minds until you told them there might be something they should be ashamed of. So that’s super fun for them.
And we had a special guest Scallops from Bachelor in Paradiselast season. Homegirl needs to try finding love outside of reality television. But who am I to judge, Ashley I and Jared made it. Aw, and their PEOPLE Magazine spread is out!Scallops throwing some serious shade to her competition in the final round. Spoiler alert Scallops doesn’t win.Woman from famous things Episode: A lady named Ray (Rey? Reigh? I should know this because she’s famous. Someone help a sister out?) who had pictures with Oprah and Obama went for the sweet, safe and slightly boring guy over the steamy hot fireman. She chose the guy from Chicago, her hometown, even though a hunky fireman named Adonis (for reals, can’t make this up) laid a huge kiss on her. The lady is a business woman and she is in it for the long term investment as opposed to the short term gains. Yeah, I know business speak. Really don’t, but that all sounded great.
At the end of this season I’m following up on each and every one of these proposals.
Back to Bachelorette: Hometowns is tonight!!! My absolute favorite part of the season. Previews show some unhappy parents and not wanting their baby boys’ hearts smushed. Also, Tia’s back so this is going to be great fun.
Also, the new show Castaways. Can someone explain to me what this is all about, because to me based off of the previews it looks like a poor man’s version of Survivor where you’re just thrown onto a partially deserted island and told to survive with no cash prize at the end. I am confused.
Please leave your ideas of what it will take to make it up to you with blogging truancy. And I or a friend I can con will make it a reality. I also can promise you I will never interrupt your Bachelorette viewing.
The Bachelorette, who got eliminated, who got kicked off last night, who got kicked off the bachelorette, who got sent home last night, who is left on the bachelor, who is left on the bachelorette, who was sent home, who went home
When in Vegas, Don’t Go Crazy.
Who got kicked off: David, Male Model Jordan and John were sent home. David and Jordan were both sent home on a two-on-one date and John was sent home at the rose ceremony.
One-on-One Date: Colton got the one-on-one date. They rode camels and the hot tub finally made an appearance. At dinner, Colton told her he has only said “I love you” once in his life to a significant other and he puts a lot of meaning behind it. They rode around on a big bus and there was a sign that read “Kiss her.”
Group Date: Singing…again. I actually All of the men went on the group date except for David and Jordan who got to hang out at home with Colton and reaffirm how excited they were for the two-on-one date. The group date was another singing contest. I’m unclear if Becca just really enjoys singing, but this date was a train wreck. They had to write lyrics at Wayne Newton’s house who showed up on horseback by the way, and sing in front of an audience to Danke Schoen . No one was good. Chris did fine, but then he didn’t go up to Becca to get time at the afterparty leaving Becca feeling confused. Chris said that he needs to see from Becca that she wants to be with him. I think Chris forgot who the Bachelorette is or the premise of the show.
Best Quote of the Night: Leo in reference to Lincoln’s song. “No one knew what he said and some would say that was good.”
Because everyone needs a great Leo photo.
Blake is falling hard and took her outside the arena and told her he’s falling in love with her. As we’ll remember Blake got the best date in teh history of Bachelor nation where they literally got to smash everything of Arie’s in a warehouse with the sweet, sweet tunes of Lil John.
Wills is not afraid of patterns. Nor fighting for his one-on-one time. He told Chris that Chris could not interrupt.
Chris Oddly enough just like Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie, Chris went off the deep end. You can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.
Two-on-One Date: David and Jordan got the two-on-one date in the desert. David spent the whole time talking poorly about Jordan and Jordan spent the whole time defending himself. Becca felt like she was back in the middle school. She chose Jordan to go to dinner with to get to know better and parted ways with David. At dinner Jordan only talked about himself and his modeling career and wished he had brought his portfolio. He was smiling ear to ear. Becca was not. She did not give him the rose and sent him home.
The rest of the episode was about Chris being crazy and Blake telling her he was falling in love with her.
The group is headed to Virginia, the city for Lovers.
The proposal this time was a lady. She chose an Ad Exec Jordan from Southern California and plays hockey. She is a single mom/songwriter from Nashville.