Two Rose Ceremonies. An L Bomb Dropped. Canceled Cocktail Party. And Becca is Having None of it.
Becca is fo’ serious. She is taking this breakup-find-a-new-man extra serious. She is sending men home left and right. Becca sent Jean Blanc home on a group date because she did not think he was genuine in his love for her and then she was pissssed. All she asked for was honesty. Wills had a one-on-one with her the next day and it was kind of awkward at first, but Wills made it fun. Garrett had a one-on-one and revealed he had been married before and divorced within 2 months. David returned from the hospital after falling off of his bunk bed with his face thoroughly smashed up. Becca canceled the cocktail party because she knew what she wanted to do. And Jordan is getting on everyone’s last nerve.
Who got kicked off: Ryan and Manbun Mike were sent home at the rose ceremony that kicked off the episode. Jean Blanc was sent home on an early departure at a group date after he stole her twice to tell her he was falling in love with her after only 3 weeks. She thought something was off and sent him home. Our globe trotting gorgeous man Christon and Nick were sent home at the second rose ceremony.
The group traveled to Park City, Utah this episode. And next they are on their way to Vegas. Full recap to follow.
Tia and Colton Meet Again. Clay is on the DL. And Leo is coming in strong.
The Twitter-verse was up in arms at the departure of Clay. Looks like Clay and Joe the grocer have already won the hearts of Bachelor Nation.
Who got kicked off: Clay went home after he found out his wrist injury on the football date needed medical attention.
One-on-One Date: Chris got the one-on-one date of his nightmares. It was to Capital Records in Los Angeles, where they met Richard Marx. Then Chris had to write his own love song to Becca. Chris was like this is awfully soon to express all of these feelings that he doesn’t even know if he has. And Becca came out in the hallway and sat with him and eased his fears. It was sweet. And then he blew it out of the water with his lyrics.
“I don’t know why he though he was anything less than amazing,” Becca said after Chris’ lyrics.
At dinner Chris revealed like so many others that his parents’ split was why he has difficulty expressing love. Cool.
Group Date: Pamper Time
Becca brought her ladies on the group date, which included a spa date where a group of the guys and Becca’s friends painted each other’s nails and gave each other massages. Worst date ever. Also, why bring all of these ladies on her dates? Do you think that’s weird? Just me? Let me know in the comments for reals. Kendall was sweet and said that she was looking for the guys that take extra time to pamper Becca to give her good word to Becca, because ultimately Becca’s the one they’re there for.
Tia was on this date. And as we’ll remember from last week, Tia and Colton used to date and Becca was not happy about it. Awko-taco. Tia and Becca had an awkward one-on-one in the middle of the pamper date to dish it out. Tia said she had only kissed him and she hoped he was there solely for Becca. They hugged it out. Colton reassured Becca he was there for Becca.
Colton got the rose on the group date.
Group Date: Clay, Leo, Christina, Ryan, John, Garrett, Manbun Mike, Lincoln, Connor and Blake. Date Card: We can tackle anything together.
That’s right! Becca’s team of players is playing football! Becca brought out two ladies from the women’s football league and they ran drills. Clay crushed the drills and Becca got to see a whole other strong, hot side to the teddy bear. Leo and Garrett helped Becca do a couple drills. Brownie points. Then they split the guys into two teams to scrimmage. In the words of Leo, “Everyone on their team sucks.” They had Manbun Mike and Lincoln who literally tried to tackle his own teammate (also wearing blue, hard to misread). Clay was so sweet. He is an NFL player and literally does this for a living and was so sweet and patient to coach Lincoln. “Lincoln, we’re on offense. Over here.”
Clay’s team was down by 2-3 touchdowns. And I don’t think that Clay likes to lose. He tied the score basically on his own with some help from Blake to tie it 21 to 21.
Leo: “We were poking at the bear a little and then finally Clay decided to let loose and just go insane.”
“He’s a truck. It’s like tackling a moving car.”
Clay made some sweet passes, some legit runs, and as quarterback ran for a touchdown. A touchdown that hurt his wrist.
Clay got the rose on the date. Only to have to give it back at the cocktail hour later that night because he had to leave for surgery on his wrist.
Leo: “This guy is a world class athlete. You don’t want to see him get hurt.”
I have decided Leo is a much better narrator than Jordan. Jordan I have no idea what is happening in that pretty little, Wilhelmina modeling head of his.
Jordan and David Feud
David tattled to Becca that Jordan was bragging about having 4,000 matches in one year on Tinder. I mean is that a lot? I don’t know. Anyway, Becca came out and gave Jordan a high five sarcastically. And the feud began anew.
Chicken Man David was also in the hospital. He fell out of bed. That’s what the blood and ambulance preview scenes were all about. It looks like he’ll be back soon. I think Becca was trying to be polite when Chris Harrison answered her question of ‘Who did this to him,’ with basically he did this to himself, ‘He fell out of a bunk bed.’ I mean it is serious, dude fell on his face. But I think she was expecting to have a different tale.
No rose ceremony. Tonight, though, we’ll find out who was sent home. Get your wine glasses filled up and ready! The Bachelorette is on at 8|7c.
Tonight was a night of fresh starts and cuteness. Becca Got to Smash Some Suff. And Jordan got undressed.
Becca is looking fly in her gowns and crushing this whole breakup game. Let’s hope tonight was the last of the Arie references and appearances, and we can get on with Becca’s journey to find love. Solo.
Who got kicked off: Alex, Rickey, and Trent were sent home. Alex cried. Jordan wore a fur coat over his naked body.
Group Date: Obstacle Course
An obstacle course for Becca’s hand in marriage led to some tension amongst the men. Lincoln won in a photo finish and was gifted a framed photo of him and Becca at the finish line. Lincoln kept bragging about the picture. It ticked Connor off and Connor threw the photo into the pool.
Jean Blanc stole Becca’s interest that night with a wink and his genuine nature. Becca says of Jean Blanc, “He is so attentive. He recognizes that he is missing that puzzle piece and that’s love.” Jean Blanc says he’s ready to move past a career and find the one.
One-on-One: Blake got THE BEST ONE-ON-ONE date of all time. He was also the first one-on-one date since the breakup. With Becca, he got to smash all of Becca’s breakup stuff in a rundown warehouse with LilJon DJ’ing in the background. The couch where Arie broke up with Becca on, TV’s with Arie’s proposal to Arie, a racecar with Arie Jr. on the license plate. Baseball bats at champagne. Turn down for what.
Group Date: Bouncy Dodgeball Garrett Rickey John Ryan Alex Chris Trent Leo Wills Colton. Date Card: Love comes at you hard and fast
Man Bun Mike and Jason didn’t have dates.
the boys rolled out on a school bus. Becca rolled out in short, metallic, silver shorts. And it was game time. Becca’s men entered a school gym with 3 kids throwing dodgeballs at them. Leo was like bring it. It was adorable. “The little girl was savage. She’s like the ring leader,” all the men agreed as the kids made them immediately do suicides. So adorable to see the guys in a gym and smiling and playing with kids. SO cute!! They had a practice round in the gym where the 3 little tykes set up a couple pitching machines and just let it rip on the bachelors, throwing dodgeballs 50 – 100 miles per hour. During the scrimmage round, one team’s strategy was to hide behind Becca. Christon was like I don’t give a you know what and immediately got her out. Christon’s the best.
Showtime For the real-live-action, dodgeball in a bouncy ring, Fred Willard commentated with Chris Harrison and it was great.
Fred Willard: I don’t see any losers out there.
Chris Harrison: No, no they lost.
LEO DOMINATED dodgeball. It was pretty much him in pink against the green team. Everyone else on the pink team just gave up. Leo was the last man standing in almost every round. Man bun and all. And even though pink team lost, everybody’s going to the afterparty!
Colton used to date Tia. Becca is not happy about that. She is good friends with Tia and now questioning if Colton is there for her or was expecting Tia as the Bachelorette. We’ll find out next week when Becca brings Tia and friends on the show and surprise, surprise Colton is lucky enough to get that particular date.
Clay is such a sweet guy. He did a touchdown dance and they kissed instead of bumping helmets. SO cute.
Connor tried to redeem himself by framing a photo of him at the obstacle course. He told Becca they needed to get rid of this guy and he had her launch it into the pool. Fresh starts.
Jordan tried to get Becca’s attention by stripping down to next to nothing and then he had to stand at the rose ceremony in a pink fur blanket wrapped around him. Incredible.
Next week, Becca’s rocking the red again and on the football field. Plus, her ladies are here and Tea heats up between David and Jordan.
Lord help me, if someone mentions Arie one more time. Bring back the choir.
We are back! Becca is ready to do the damn thing! And she has a fun bunch of men that are going to make this season a good one. She also has a couple All-Stars.
Who got kicked off: Jake was sent home early, before the rose ceremony because Becca said they had met before and ran in the same social circles and there was no prior interest. The rest of the men in Red X’s were sent home night one.
Start of the episode Pep Talks Kaitlyn, JoJo and Rachel who have all been engaged for foreeever and still no wedding. No judgment. Came to help give her a pep talk. They did give a little tidbit that all three kissed their men they are with now on night one AND gave them their first impression rose.
Fun Facts About the Men
Jordan Male Model Jordan says it’s tough being a model. “There’s so much involved. You’ve got gym year round. You’ve got tan year round. It’s taxing.”
Jean Blanc is a cologne lover. He owns one that costs $1,200. And he owns fancy ties and fancy watches.
Chris brought a choir. Then just kind of left her out there while he went in the mansion.
First Impression Rose
Goes to Garrett who crushed the entrance and taught her fly flishing and reminded her of home. Take notes. This is how it’s done. He rolled up in a minivan complete with a carseat, diapers and soccer balls. When he taught her fly fishing the guys in the house were watching and one commented “I wonder if he’s catching anything.” Another so aptly responded, “Feelings.” Truth. Garrett got the first impression rose.
Clay our pro football player brought in actual clay so that they could do arts and crafts and she would remember his name. They made weird clay dolls of each other. It was cute.
Christon of the Globe Trotters had her hold a ball over her head and he dunked on her. It was incredible and made me want to see a Harlem Globe Trotters show. Like immediately.
Jake has had a transformative year. Becca told him, “We’ve hung out a couple times in the same circle. He never showed any interest. We’ve met multiple times and not have any interest. On either end there was kind of nothing.” Jake didn’t fight too hard to stay or deny he was there for the wrong reasons. So she sent him home.
Wills likes Harry Potter so much so that he has “Expecto Petronus” tattooed on his wrist, which in Latin means “I awaken a guardian.” Which obviously if you watch Harry Potter and have your own Petronus, you know.
Best Reaction Shots
I think this season is going to call for a new section dedicated to Jordan’s fun mind.
Jordanisms (n.): Wisdom by Jordan
“You know, I have a lot of love to give. And my love is like a little pot on top of the oven (steam whistle sounds). And then you know, the next thing you know is the pot’s steaming and it’s time to pour some tea.”
It’s time to pour some tea tonight at 8|7c pm on ABC.
First of all, I don’t know why ABC doesn’t think we deserve to know all about the Bachelor Men through their interview questions. I would like to have the opportunity to fully judge. If I’m going to make base assumptions based off of their appearance and bio descriptions, I would like the opportunity to judge properly.
What you really want to know about is what is Becca K wearing? I know right! Thank goodness Popsugar.com has tracked it down. I couldn’t stop staring at the metallic masterpiece.
Second of all, I would like to know who cast this crew? Because everyone has former/current professional sports man. Also where can I apply for Becca’s rejects? everyone loves adventure, the outdoors and life, especially Chase. And everyone is from California or Florida. And an athlete. Requirements to apply.
Alex (31) has a boat and looks like he owns a boat and skis out West.
Blake (28) from Colorado is a swing dancer.
Chase (27) hasn’t done anything since going to the College World Series for baseball according to his bio. He’s also a VP in Advertising. This is why we need Interview Questions! #LongLiveTheInterviewQuestions
Christian (28) is from San Diego and San Diego is awesome. That’s all you need to know. Not to be confused with Christon (31) who was a Harlem Globe Trotter and now is a professional Dunker in Los Angeles. Umm, heck yeah.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Clay (30) is a Pro Football player. He also likes country music.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Colton (26) is mine. He’s a former pro football player from Denver, Colorado.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Connor (25) is a Fitness Coach. And a baby at 25 years of age. He also had the opportunity to play professional baseball.
Alright, who cast these men? Was it me? Must Love Sports. All Others Need Not Apply.
Darius (26) we’ve already met and love.
David (25) another preppy boater man. Also from Colorado.
Grant (27) It just wouldn’t be a season without a Grant. He was chosen solely for the puns his profession (Electrician) provides (see: spark, electricity, etc.)
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Garret (28) loves the outdoors.
Jake (29) Also loves the outdoors. Go figure. I have high hopes for his poem-writing abilities.
Jason (29) likes Disney songs.
Jean Blanc (31) is a Colognoisseur. Elite Daily weighs in to explain further. He likes cologne. Wears a lot of it. Owns a lot of it. Chris Harrison guesstimates over 250 bottles from his live feed. I mean spellcheck’s never heard of it, but who am I to judge.
Joe (31) Most interesting ACTUAL job (not a colognoisseur) goes to Joe. Grocery Store Owner.
John (28) likes wine and is a software engineer.
Jordan (26), my friends, is a male model. I mean his mile time PR was a 4:24, which is damn good. Can’t be true.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Kamil (30) is a Social Media Participant. Just NO.
Leo (30) is a stuntman. STUNTMAN. Fun Fact he also looks like a lion. First question to him if I were Becca, does the hair get in the way of his stunts. Like for reals? Hazard? Real questions.
Lincoln (26) lived in Boston for awhile, so he’s cool.
And if you’re not a player. You’re a sports analyst.
Mike (27) is an effin Sports Analyst. Long-haired Mike hasn’t been growing his hair as long as Leo (10 years is the count to beat), but he does have a bulldog named Riggins. Coincidence? I think not.
Nick (27) no one says that about attorneysRickey (27) is an IT Consultant and, well lookey there created an online successful personal training company.
Ryan (26) we met night one. He’s the banjo man. Cape Cod Native. Likes boats.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
Trent (28) Yes, we have a romance novel cover male model. So there’s Trent.
Wills (29) Ooo Wills is pretty. Graphic Designer. Likes Harry Potter. Normal.
Photo Credit: ABC.com
I’m so happy to be here to walk you through all of the different bachelors so you can really tell them apart night one.
Tweeters Have Some Thoughts Too:
In case you can’t tell by the crotch photo…Surprise! It’s male model Jordan. Producer Millsey says we have some fun things in store from this gem of a human.
I CAN’T WAIT to the Do the Damn Thing. It’s go time next Monday, May 28 8|7c.
Benoit, our Canadian contestant, proposed to Clare, our always up for a Bachelor challenge lady, at the finale of The Bachelor Winter Games. Well, we all know how that worked out. They are officially donezo as evidenced by their somewhat adorable Instagram post.
Dean posted a cryptic message on his Instagram about love being hard and a day later Lesley confirmed they were broken up. That’s 0 for 3 on the Bachelor ladies front for darling Dean. Might be time to check out another dating pool, DeanieBabies. Dean gave Lesley a key to his apartment at the After The Bachelor Winter Games episode. This was to throw off the very real proposal Benoit had planned for Clare (pre-breakup). Lesley is a clever little travel blogger for those not in the know. She cited, out with the winter and in with the Spring cleaning.