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The Bachelorette Becca K: Week 8 Hometowns Quick Recap

Hometowns! Tia still likes Colton. Colton told Becca he was in love with Becca. Colton is going home.

Who got kicked off: Colton will be skipping out on the Fantasy Suite Dates. He was sent home at the rose ceremony. He told Chris Harrison he was nervous about the Fantasy Suite Dates, but didn’t really need for worry.

Becca was looking good on her dates. She went to Denver and Bailey, Colorado, Buffalo, New York and Manteca, California because Garrett’s fam is there.

Becca planted tomatoes and a rose bush with Garrett; she had a chicken wing eating contest with Jason along with hockey playing; she visited the Children’s Hospital for Colton’s non-profit; she had a surprise concert in Blake’s high school auditorium of her favorite band. All of the Bachelors families were lovely despite what the previews would have you believe.

Becca invited her ladies back on the show, including Tia who told Becca she still liked Colton. Tia what are you doing? Colton went home because Becca wasn’t feeling it as much with him and Colton’s Dad told her to let him go earlier if she wasn’t feeling it so as not to crush his heart.

Giving Tia looks like what.

Fantasy Suite Dates are next week!

Full recap to follow.

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The Bachelorette Becca K: Week 6 and 7 Quick Recap

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I’m Back from Hiatus! On to Hometowns! Please Don’t Leave Me!

I’m the worst and took a hiatus on vacay without having a sub-blogger. Never again. Next time, nominating someone to do a blog takeover. And as reparation I’m going to look up every cast member from Bachelor in Paradise and every couple that gets engaged on The Proposal and track them for many years to come. And forego wine. Who am I kidding I can’t give up wine. Only for you. You may also leave comments of reparation suggestions in the comments. But for reals. Please don’t leave me. Hometowns are happening tonight! Becca is taking this process all too seriously. I hope the girl gets to have fun at some point.

Richmond, Virginia (Week 6) and the Bahamas (Week 7). Becca struggled to find words to describe Virginia…”The air is nice…the mix of the old and the new…it’s different from Vegas.” What she should have said is an intern suggested this location solely based on the fact that “Virginia is for lovers,” and Philly, the city of brotherly love, has been done before and Virginia is budget-friendly and we can get the Governor of the Commonwealth! So here we are.

Who got kicked off: Week 6 Lincoln, Chris and Connor were sent home. Week 7 Leo and Wills were sent home. Crazy Chris went to Becca’s suite and I feel like was very adversarial and got sent home. Leo was left on an island in the Bahamas on a 3 on 1 date. And Wills asked to pull the car over so he could let out his sadness.

Richmond, Virginia (Week 6):

Jason got a one-on-one date and he was a true sport. I don’t know what is up with Becca an making these dates not fun. She took Jason to a Gothic un-happy hour party at St. John’s Church. Like what? But they decorated donuts first so I guess it’s alright? No thank you. Pass pass pass, double pass. They cheers-ed to “May you be unhappy ever more.” Also, Jason can bend it like Beckham and got pretty far in the splits because that was also casually part of the date. Get after it, Jason. The best part of the date was that Becca flew out Jason’s friends from NYC and they all sat around and had beers together. They also had a private party trolley so that was cool and a concert by Morgan Evans.

The Group Date was equally awko-taco. They had a debate in the commonwealth. And apparently the Governor of the Commonwealth had nothing better to do than to host a debate among the bachelors for The Bachelorette. Anything Colton said, Becca swooned. He could have said my favorite color is red and she would have passed out cold. Lincoln and Chris got into it at the debate. It was super awkward. We knew this would happen, though. The signs were there for Chris.

Best Quote: Chris about Lincoln: “Lincoln is a monster…the man eats 12 eggs a day! His cholesterol has to be through the roof.” True story. Stay safe, kids.

Leo got a one-on-one date to survive another week, only to be let go the next week. They shucked oysters. Meanwhile, Becca was emotionally drained by the debate. She seems to get emotionally drained a lot. She reeeeally wants this to work and win at the break-up game. Rooting for her, but she’s gotta let loose and let love in!

No cocktail hour. Connor, Lincoln and Chris were sent home. Chris because he went to her room and was not on the same page as Becca.

And the Bahamas (Week 7) at the Baha Mar Hotel

Colton got the first one-on-one date to everyone’s chagrin. He told Becca he was a virgin. And Becca WALKED AWAY. Like left him awkwardly sitting at the table. And then she came back and then asks him how he’s doing. My guess is not well, Becca. She told him he’s given her a lot to think about. They had spent the day harvesting conch shells making various conch related innuendos.

Garrett got a one-on-one and Becca grilled him on his ex-wife and if Garrett loved the process versus Becca. Girl is asking the hard questions. Get. It. Becca.

Jimmy Kimmel read the tweets tweeters posted when Trump interrupted The Bachelorette to announce the Supreme Court Justice. One was, “I don’t care who is the next Supreme Court Justice, but I do care who gets this mother effin’ rose.”

Blake got a one-on-one date. Blake gets all the cool dates. They had a beach party where they danced. Blake talked about his parents’ divorce and mom’s affair in a small town. Blake told Becca that he loved her. Different from falling in love with her. Now, he’s there. He’s in love. Blake got a rose and is headed to hometowns.

Becca said of Blake, “My heart recognizes his. All I want to do is tell him I’m in love with him.” I think they’re setting us up for failure and sadness.

Wills, Jason and Leo had a Three-on-One Date. I’m kind of disappointed. I would have liked to know what would have happened at Leo’s hometown date and if stuntman stunts would have been involved and now we’ll never know. Ugh, Leo’s good-bye was so hard. For me. He’s so great! Becca said good-bye to him on the beach and took Jason and Wills to the afterparty. Becca grilled Jason saying that the other men are more vocal than him. Jason was very articulate. And Becca was like from here on out my person and I have to be on the same page. I feel like that was a tilt toward Jason, but whatevs. And then our hearts broke all over again when Wills asked to get out of the car so he could cry. It was no Jake Pavelka and Jason Mesnik lean over the railing but it was a close second.

Making it to Hometowns TONIGHT: Blake, Colton, Garrett, Jason

The Proposal TV Show: Some Thoughts

Man from Louisiana Episode: The 27-year-old man from Louisiana chose the 22-year-old-college-sophomore-guitar-playing lady also from Louisiana. He said it’s crazy how he had to fly to California to meet the girl that was in his backyard. Love me the Louisiana folk. The ladies on the episode kept talking about how they believe in this process. This is the first season of the show. They’ve literally never seen this before. No episodes have aired prior to theirs. How do they know this process works and that they can believe in it? I do not understand. Pageant fail.

Also, host Jesse always has the ladies leave by telling them there is nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t think that was in their minds until you told them there might be something they should be ashamed of. So that’s super fun for them.

And we had a special guest Scallops from Bachelor in Paradiselast season. Homegirl needs to try finding love outside of reality television. But who am I to judge, Ashley I and Jared made it. Aw, and their PEOPLE Magazine spread is out!Scallops throwing some serious shade to her competition in the final round. Spoiler alert Scallops doesn’t win.Woman from famous things Episode: A lady named Ray (Rey? Reigh? I should know this because she’s famous. Someone help a sister out?) who had pictures with Oprah and Obama went for the sweet, safe and slightly boring guy over the steamy hot fireman. She chose the guy from Chicago, her hometown, even though a hunky fireman named Adonis (for reals, can’t make this up) laid a huge kiss on her. The lady is a business woman and she is in it for the long term investment as opposed to the short term gains. Yeah, I know business speak. Really don’t, but that all sounded great.

At the end of this season I’m following up on each and every one of these proposals.

Back to Bachelorette: Hometowns is tonight!!! My absolute favorite part of the season. Previews show some unhappy parents and not wanting their baby boys’ hearts smushed. Also, Tia’s back so this is going to be great fun.

Also, the new show Castaways. Can someone explain to me what this is all about, because to me based off of the previews it looks like a poor man’s version of Survivor where you’re just thrown onto a partially deserted island and told to survive with no cash prize at the end. I am confused.

Please leave your ideas of what it will take to make it up to you with blogging truancy. And I or a friend I can con will make it a reality. I also can promise you I will never interrupt your Bachelorette viewing.

The Bachelorette Becca K.: Week 5 Quick Recap

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When in Vegas, Don’t Go Crazy.

Who got kicked off: David, Male Model Jordan and John were sent home. David and Jordan were both sent home on a two-on-one date and John was sent home at the rose ceremony.

One-on-One Date: Colton got the one-on-one date. They rode camels and the hot tub finally made an appearance. At dinner, Colton told her he has only said “I love you” once in his life to a significant other and he puts a lot of meaning behind it. They rode around on a big bus and there was a sign that read “Kiss her.”

Group Date: Singing…again. I actually All of the men went on the group date except for David and Jordan who got to hang out at home with Colton and reaffirm how excited they were for the two-on-one date. The group date was another singing contest. I’m unclear if Becca just really enjoys singing, but this date was a train wreck. They had to write lyrics at Wayne Newton’s house who showed up on horseback by the way, and sing in front of an audience to Danke Schoen . No one was good. Chris did fine, but then he didn’t go up to Becca to get time at the afterparty leaving Becca feeling confused. Chris said that he needs to see from Becca that she wants to be with him. I think Chris forgot who the Bachelorette is or the premise of the show.

Best Quote of the Night: Leo in reference to Lincoln’s song. “No one knew what he said and some would say that was good.”

Because everyone needs a great Leo photo.

Blake is falling hard and took her outside the arena and told her he’s falling in love with her. As we’ll remember Blake got the best date in teh history of Bachelor nation where they literally got to smash everything of Arie’s in a warehouse with the sweet, sweet tunes of Lil John.

Wills is not afraid of patterns. Nor fighting for his one-on-one time. He told Chris that Chris could not interrupt.

Chris Oddly enough just like Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie, Chris went off the deep end. You can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.

Two-on-One Date: David and Jordan got the two-on-one date in the desert. David spent the whole time talking poorly about Jordan and Jordan spent the whole time defending himself. Becca felt like she was back in the middle school. She chose Jordan to go to dinner with to get to know better and parted ways with David. At dinner Jordan only talked about himself and his modeling career and wished he had brought his portfolio. He was smiling ear to ear. Becca was not. She did not give him the rose and sent him home.

The rest of the episode was about Chris being crazy and Blake telling her he was falling in love with her.

The group is headed to Virginia, the city for Lovers.

The proposal this time was a lady. She chose an Ad Exec Jordan from Southern California and plays hockey. She is a single mom/songwriter from Nashville.

The Bachelorette Becca K: Full Recap Week 4

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A lady in a lot of red. Feeling Off. Good-bye ManBun.

Who got kicked off: Ryan and Manbun Mike were sent home at the rose ceremony that was supposed to happen last week. Jean Blanc was sent home on the group date because Becca didn’t believe he was falling for her. Christon and Nick were sent home at the rose ceremony sans cocktail party.

Cocktail Party from Last Week:  Blake asked her how many kids she wants. They talked about kids names.

Becca gave Jordan gold underpants. David came back from the hospital with his face a little beaten up. Becca gave him the rose so he could go home and rest up instead of attending the rose ceremony.

After the rose ceremony, the men got way too excited about Park City, Utah. No one gets that excited about Utah. It’s snowing in Utah. Except maybe David. No bunk beds in Utah. Too soon?

Park City, Utah

One-on-One: Garrett They wandered around the cute downtown. She is infatuated with him I think because he reminds her of home. And she needs to be comforted right now post-engagement-break-up. Garrett and Becca went bobsledding with an Olympic bobsled team of two that got married from their bobsledding days. Becca told Garrett he reminded her of her dad. So there’s that. Garrett reveals he was married at 23 and divorced after two months. Becca’s response, “hmm.” And her mind was like “hit the brakes!” Garrett told her he’s in it and the next person he says “I love you” to he will mean it. So he won her back. She thinks he’s loyal. Granger Smith sang to them at a concert.

Garrett has done nothing exciting to earn this infatuation. Also, don’t want to burst everyone’s bubble, but Garrett was known to have liked inappropriate and insensitive Instagram posts, according to Vanity Fair. Glamour breaks it down post by post with whistle blower Ashley Spivey. Explain yo’self Garrett.

Also, Lincoln has a previous assault case from 2016 hiding behind the curtains. Warner Bros released a statement having denied knowledge of this charge from his background checks prior to the show, according to Vulture. Lincoln was found guilty and was charged with a year in a house of correction. He must attend 3 AA meetings for two years and stay away from the victim to avoid the jail time. Ashley Spivey is tweeting up a storm. Warner Bros should hire Ashley Spivey to do all the background checks from here on out.

Group Date: Jordan, Chris, Blake, Nick, John, Lincoln, Leo, David, Connor, Christon, Jason, Colton, Jean Blanc

Lumberjack central. The men threw on some flannel and work boots and got to work. They chopped wood, climbed trees and sawed logs. The winner of the lumberjack contest was Venmo guy John. We were surprised too. Jean Blanc gave her a perfume titled Miss Becca Blanc and Becca was like naw. Jean Blanc was sent home at the afterparty because Becca wasn’t feeling it and Jean Blanc told her he loved her and she was like are you sure, and he was like I just thought that’s what you wanted to hear, and she was like oh heeeck no and sent him home. Then she went back to the boys upset and told them she wanted honesty.

One-on-One Date: Wills got the lucky one-on-one date right after she sent Jean Blanc home, and started to feel all the feelings she felt when Arie told her he loved her and was like psyche jk, check out these cameras. Wills turned it around, though, and they had a great time in the snow. It took awhile for Becca to warm up and she said she felt off, but it worked out. Wills had actual relationship problems. Not to say Becca didn’t, but she had a 6 week relationship with a guy who was dating 25 other ladies at the same time and Wills had a 3 year-long relationship and talked about marriage and the lady he was with cheated on him. No comparison. Wills wins this round.

No Cocktail Party and a Rose Ceremony.

ABC’s NEW Show The Proposal

The Proposal is as bad as you think it is. So don’t worry, I will watch it for you and recap it every week. Neil Lane is helping out with rings on this show too.

The Premise: Get married in an hour.

Round One: Gowns and intro videos of 10 ladies.

Round Two: 7 ladies left. Swimwear and spill your heart out to a pod. Oh, did I not mention that the man you are supposedly going to marry is sitting in a thing designed where you can’t see him, but he can see you and it is called a pod. Also, one contestant brought a scrapbook. #longlivethescrapbook

Round Three: 4 ladies left. Gowns back on. Best friend of pod man asks questions and makes a recommendation.

Round Four: 3 ladies left. Lightening fast, timed-deal-breaker questions.

Round Five: 2 ladies left. Pod man is revealed! He walks out and greets the ladies. Then the ladies go backstage to practice their last words to him. They come back out and say their words. Then he pauses and picks one to propose to. And that’s it.

Premiere Episode Full Recap: The premiere episode a man kicked it off. ABC blurred him out of his about video so it’s this mystical blob. It is so strange. He is in a pod designed so he can see everyone but no one can see him. Women are backstage until the host announces, I propose we get started. I propose we don’t continue to use I propose puns. The ladies come out one-by-one in formal wear with their about bios playing on a TV screen. They blow kisses to the pod and their would-be suitor.

The first round he chooses 7 out of 10 to move forward. The second round the ladies are forced to put on swimwear like a Miss America pageant contest and then SPILL THEIR GUTS to the pod. The pod man eliminates 3 ladies so they are down to 4. The next round they return back to their original dresses so as not to confuse the pod man and it’s a round of questions, only this time from the pod man’s best friend. The best friend asked questions because who really knows what the one right question to ask a potential life partner would be. After that the friend goes behind the pod to make a recommendation.

The pod man eliminates one lady so we’re down to three ladies. The fourth round is lightening, deal-breaker question round, where pod man asks each girl ONE personal question. The pod man this time had had his right leg amputated from the knee down and that was one of his questions if the girl could be ok with that. Another question was directed at one of the lady’s sex life. And another led to the discovery that she had also been in a life-threatening car crash similar to him (she didn’t know that)  (spoiler alert: this is the girl he chose). I’m curious how they cast these people for the pod people.

For the final two, they reveal the pod man. Open the pod, less like Superman more like Jurrasic World. And the contestants hold their breath. And breathe a sigh of relief. Then the two have to give pod man a final speech and he chooses who he wants to propose to. Mike and Monica.

Of the contestants from last week:

I need to know who Morgan from Long Island is what brand she is ambassadoring.

Kelly Gray is determined to break her ankle in roller derby skates down what must have been a million stairs. And took her like a million years to get down on top toe what producer allowed this?

Alona had the unfortunate pun on her name of tired of being alone-uh. ugh my heart.

Who goes home broken hearted after never having seen the guy who is supposed to propose to you?

Sooooo Back to Ashley I. and Jared. Because theirs is a love story that I love watching. We’re just gonna cut to Ashley I and Jared for forever.

The Bachelorette Becca K.: Quick Recap Week 4

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Two Rose Ceremonies. An L Bomb Dropped. Canceled Cocktail Party. And Becca is Having None of it.

Becca is fo’ serious. She is taking this breakup-find-a-new-man extra serious. She is sending men home left and right. Becca sent Jean Blanc home on a group date because she did not think he was genuine in his love for her and then she was pissssed. All she asked for was honesty. Wills had a one-on-one with her the next day and it was kind of awkward at first, but Wills made it fun. Garrett had a one-on-one and revealed he had been married before and divorced within 2 months. David returned from the hospital after falling off of his bunk bed with his face thoroughly smashed up. Becca canceled the cocktail party because she knew what she wanted to do. And Jordan is getting on everyone’s last nerve.

Who got kicked off: Ryan and Manbun Mike were sent home at the rose ceremony that kicked off the episode. Jean Blanc was sent home on an early departure at a group date after he stole her twice to tell her he was falling in love with her after only 3 weeks. She thought something was off and sent him home. Our globe trotting gorgeous man Christon and Nick were sent home at the second rose ceremony.

 

The group traveled to Park City, Utah this episode. And next they are on their way to Vegas. Full recap to follow.

The Bachelorette Becca K: Full Recap Week 3

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Tia and Colton Meet Again. Clay is on the DL. And Leo is coming in strong.

The Twitter-verse was up in arms at the departure of Clay. Looks like Clay and Joe the grocer have already won the hearts of Bachelor Nation.

Who got kicked off: Clay went home after he found out his wrist injury on the football date needed medical attention.

One-on-One Date: Chris got the one-on-one date of his nightmares. It was to Capital Records in Los Angeles, where they met Richard Marx. Then Chris had to write his own love song to Becca. Chris was like this is awfully soon to express all of these feelings that he doesn’t even know if he has. And Becca came out in the hallway and sat with him and eased his fears. It was sweet. And then he blew it out of the water with his lyrics.

“I don’t know why he though he was anything less than amazing,” Becca said after Chris’ lyrics.

At dinner Chris revealed like so many others that his parents’ split was why he has difficulty expressing love. Cool.

Group Date: Pamper Time

Becca brought her ladies on the group date, which included a spa date where a group of the guys and Becca’s friends painted each other’s nails and gave each other massages. Worst date ever. Also, why bring all of these ladies on her dates? Do you think that’s weird? Just me? Let me know in the comments for reals. Kendall was sweet and said that she was looking for the guys that take extra time to pamper Becca to give her good word to Becca, because ultimately Becca’s the one they’re there for.

Tia was on this date. And as we’ll remember from last week, Tia and Colton used to date and Becca was not happy about it. Awko-taco. Tia and Becca had an awkward one-on-one in the middle of the pamper date to dish it out. Tia said she had only kissed him and she hoped he was there solely for Becca. They hugged it out. Colton reassured Becca he was there for Becca.

Colton got the rose on the group date.

Group Date: Clay, Leo, Christina, Ryan, John, Garrett, Manbun Mike, Lincoln, Connor and Blake. Date Card: We can tackle anything together.

That’s right! Becca’s team of players is playing football! Becca brought out two ladies from the women’s football league and they ran drills. Clay crushed the drills and Becca got to see a whole other strong, hot side to the teddy bear. Leo and Garrett helped Becca do a couple drills. Brownie points. Then they split the guys into two teams to scrimmage. In the words of Leo, “Everyone on their team sucks.” They had Manbun Mike and Lincoln who literally tried to tackle his own teammate (also wearing blue, hard to misread). Clay was so sweet. He is an NFL player and literally does this for a living and was so sweet and patient to coach Lincoln. “Lincoln, we’re on offense. Over here.”

Clay’s team was down by 2-3 touchdowns. And I don’t think that Clay likes to lose. He tied the score basically on his own with some help from Blake to tie it 21 to 21.

Leo: “We were poking at the bear a little and then finally Clay decided to let loose and just go insane.”

“He’s a truck. It’s like tackling a moving car.”

Clay made some sweet passes, some legit runs, and as quarterback ran for a touchdown. A touchdown that hurt his wrist.

Clay got the rose on the date. Only to have to give it back at the cocktail hour later that night because he had to leave for surgery on his wrist.

Leo: “This guy is a world class athlete. You don’t want to see him get hurt.”

I have decided Leo is a much better narrator than Jordan. Jordan I have no idea what is happening in that pretty little, Wilhelmina modeling head of his.

Jordan and David Feud

David tattled to Becca that Jordan was bragging about having 4,000 matches in one year on Tinder. I mean is that a lot? I don’t know. Anyway, Becca came out and gave Jordan a high five sarcastically. And the feud began anew.

Chicken Man David was also in the hospital. He fell out of bed. That’s what the blood and ambulance preview scenes were all about. It looks like he’ll be back soon. I think Becca was trying to be polite when Chris Harrison answered her question of ‘Who did this to him,’ with basically he did this to himself, ‘He fell out of a bunk bed.’ I mean it is serious, dude fell on his face. But I think she was expecting to have a different tale.

No rose ceremony. Tonight, though, we’ll find out who was sent home. Get your wine glasses filled up and ready! The Bachelorette is on at 8|7c.

Breaking News! Ashley I. and Jared Haibon are Engaged!

After announcing they were officially dating, Jared has finally popped the question and Ashley I. and Jared Haibon are engaged.

According to Good Morning America, Jared popped the question on Bachelor in Paradise, where there love story always seemed to end up. They were friends for 3 years, until finally Jared realized Ashley I. was the one. Congrats to the happy couple!

The Bachelorette with Becca appears tonight at 8|7c!

The Bachelorette Becca K: Week 3 Quick Recap

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Sans Rose Ceremony. Trips to the hospital. And our dear Clay.

No rose ceremony this week. Clay went home due to injury. And the internet is up in arms.

Who got kicked off: Our NFL playing Clay went home because of an injury to his wrist at a Bachelorette football date.

 

 

 

 

Full recap to follow.

The Bachelorette Becca K: Week 2 Quick Recap

Tonight was a night of fresh starts and cuteness. Becca Got to Smash Some Suff. And Jordan got undressed.

Becca is looking fly in her gowns and crushing this whole breakup game. Let’s hope tonight was the last of the Arie references and appearances, and we can get on with Becca’s journey to find love. Solo.

Who got kicked off: Alex, Rickey, and Trent were sent home. Alex cried. Jordan wore a fur coat over his naked body.

Group Date: Obstacle Course

An obstacle course for Becca’s hand in marriage led to some tension amongst the men. Lincoln won in a photo finish and was gifted a framed photo of him and Becca at the finish line. Lincoln kept bragging about the picture. It ticked Connor off and Connor threw the photo into the pool.

Jean Blanc stole Becca’s interest that night with a wink and his genuine nature. Becca says of Jean Blanc, “He is so attentive. He recognizes that he is missing that puzzle piece and that’s love.” Jean Blanc says he’s ready to move past a career and find the one.

One-on-One: Blake got THE BEST ONE-ON-ONE date of all time. He was also the first one-on-one date since the breakup. With Becca, he got to smash all of Becca’s breakup stuff in a rundown warehouse with LilJon DJ’ing in the background. The couch where Arie broke up with Becca on, TV’s with Arie’s proposal to Arie, a racecar with Arie Jr. on the license plate. Baseball bats at champagne. Turn down for what.

Group Date: Bouncy Dodgeball Garrett Rickey John Ryan Alex Chris Trent Leo Wills Colton. Date Card: Love comes at you hard and fast

Man Bun Mike and Jason didn’t have dates.

the boys rolled out on a school bus. Becca rolled out in short, metallic, silver shorts. And it was game time. Becca’s men entered a school gym with 3 kids throwing dodgeballs at them. Leo was like bring it. It was adorable. “The little girl was savage. She’s like the ring leader,” all the men agreed as the kids made them immediately do suicides. So adorable to see the guys in a gym and smiling and playing with kids. SO cute!! They had a practice round in the gym where the 3 little tykes set up a couple pitching machines and just let it rip on the bachelors, throwing dodgeballs 50 – 100 miles per hour. During the scrimmage round, one team’s strategy was to hide behind Becca. Christon was like I don’t give a you know what and immediately got her out. Christon’s the best.

Showtime For the real-live-action, dodgeball in a bouncy ring, Fred Willard commentated with Chris Harrison and it was great.

Fred Willard: I don’t see any losers out there.

Chris Harrison: No, no they lost.

LEO DOMINATED dodgeball. It was pretty much him in pink against the green team. Everyone else on the pink team just gave up. Leo was the last man standing in almost every round. Man bun and all. And even though pink team lost, everybody’s going to the afterparty!

Colton used to date Tia. Becca is not happy about that. She is good friends with Tia and now questioning if Colton is there for her or was expecting Tia as the Bachelorette. We’ll find out next week when Becca brings Tia and friends on the show and surprise, surprise Colton is lucky enough to get that particular date.

Cocktail Party

Clay is such a sweet guy. He did a touchdown dance and they kissed instead of bumping helmets. SO cute.

Connor tried to redeem himself by framing a photo of him at the obstacle course. He told Becca they needed to get rid of this guy and he had her launch it into the pool. Fresh starts.

Jordan tried to get Becca’s attention by stripping down to next to nothing and then he had to stand at the rose ceremony in a pink fur blanket wrapped around him. Incredible.

Next week, Becca’s rocking the red again and on the football field. Plus, her ladies are here and Tea heats up between David and Jordan.

Tweeters of the Night

The Bachelorette Becca K: Premiere Full Recap

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Lord help me, if someone mentions Arie one more time. Bring back the choir.

We are back! Becca is ready to do the damn thing! And she has a fun bunch of men that are going to make this season a good one. She also has a couple All-Stars.

Who got kicked off: Jake was sent home early, before the rose ceremony because Becca said they had met before and ran in the same social circles and there was no prior interest. The rest of the men in Red X’s were sent home night one.

Start of the episode Pep Talks Kaitlyn, JoJo and Rachel who have all been engaged for foreeever and still no wedding. No judgment. Came to help give her a pep talk. They did give a little tidbit that all three kissed their men they are with now on night one AND gave them their first impression rose.

Fun Facts About the Men

Jordan Male Model Jordan says it’s tough being a model. “There’s so much involved. You’ve got gym year round. You’ve got tan year round. It’s taxing.”

Jean Blanc is a cologne lover. He owns one that costs $1,200. And he owns fancy ties and fancy watches.

Colton used to play for the San Diego Chargers (shoutout to my peeps) and now runs a nonprofit in honor of his niece to treat Cystic Fibrosis. He cites having been in one serious relationship. With Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. So there’s that.

John was the 5th guy to start at Venmo according to his Medium post and Refinery29. So there’s that too.

Party Fouls and Arie Reminders

Connor Why would you fake propose! She already had that happen! The worst.

Nick came in as a racecar driver to reiterate that he was NOT a racecar driver.

ManBun Mike pops out of the limo with a life-sized cutout of Arie.

Only Leo gets it. In the words of Leo the Lion, “Remind the girl of her ex. That’s a bad idea.”

Worst First Impressions

Chicken Man David came out of the limo in a chicken costume shouting Bec-caw Bec-caw! First of all, chickens don’t caw. Those are crows. It’s a stretch, David. And not flattering. But you stay.

Kamil the social media participant got out of the limo and made her come to him. WHAT THE WHAT. Something about having to go 60 /40 in a relationship. 100 percent going home.

Trent rolled up in a hearst. And told Becca he died and she brought him back to life. One of the guys watching had a better line that he killed the competition.

Just Okay First Impressions

Blake who rode in on a horse at After the Final Rose, rode in on an Ox this time. He loves his animals.

Chris brought a choir. Then just kind of left her out there while he went in the mansion.

First Impression Rose

Goes to Garrett who crushed the entrance and taught her fly flishing and reminded her of home. Take notes. This is how it’s done. He rolled up in a minivan complete with a carseat, diapers and soccer balls. When he taught her fly fishing the guys in the house were watching and one commented “I wonder if he’s catching anything.” Another so aptly responded, “Feelings.” Truth. Garrett got the first impression rose.

Cocktail Party

Clay our pro football player brought in actual clay so that they could do arts and crafts and she would remember his name. They made weird clay dolls of each other. It was cute.

Christon of the Globe Trotters had her hold a ball over her head and he dunked on her. It was incredible and made me want to see a Harlem Globe Trotters show. Like immediately.

Jake has had a transformative year. Becca told him, “We’ve hung out a couple times in the same circle. He never showed any interest. We’ve met multiple times and not have any interest. On either end there was kind of nothing.” Jake didn’t fight too hard to stay or deny he was there for the wrong reasons. So she sent him home.

Wills likes Harry Potter so much so that he has “Expecto Petronus” tattooed on his wrist, which in Latin means “I awaken a guardian.” Which obviously if you watch Harry Potter and have your own Petronus, you know.

Best Reaction Shots

I think this season is going to call for a new section dedicated to Jordan’s fun mind.

Jordanisms (n.): Wisdom by Jordan

“You know, I have a lot of love to give. And my love is like a little pot on top of the oven (steam whistle sounds). And then you know, the next thing you know is the pot’s steaming and it’s time to pour some tea.”

It’s time to pour some tea tonight at 8|7c pm on ABC.