Mud wrestling, pole dancing and shirtless men abound. Episode Theme: Magic Mike. Ellen DeGeneres is back! And Rachel made it clear she was looking for a man, not boys.
Who was kicked off: Blake E., Lucas and Jamey were sent home at the rose ceremony. DeMario was officially sent home and reprimanded. Fred was sent home mid-group date because she just couldn’t get past the camp counselor-camper relationship.
Alex got the rose on the group date.
Anthony got the rose on a one-on-one date.
Eric, despite warnings from Lee, Bryce and Rachel’s friend Raven, got the rose on the group date, which included mud wrestling. Did I mention the group date included mud wrestling. And a stripper pole in a limo bus with a fireman. I think this was a Magic Mike episode.
Red continues to be the color of the hour, Corinne slept through a rose ceremony and the Backstreet Boys stole every 23-year-old’s heart, which I still don’t understand because I’m pretty sure they were 10. False 3. there is still no sign of nanny.
Nick is falling back on his old ways, having trysts with Corinne while all of the other ladies literally look on with WTF faces. Meanwhile, Backstreet Boys is making a comeback with some sweet moves and stealing every girl’s teenage heart.
Who got kicked off: The blondes – Lacey, Elizabeth, and Hailey went home at the rose ceremony that was supposed to take place last week. This week we were left hanging again, but not before Nick sent Dominique home before the rose ceremony. Do not attack Nick claiming he’s not giving you the time of day. You will be gone. Dominique, have you learned nothing from Liz?
The group traveled to the captivating state of Connecticut last episode and spent their time at Mohegan Sun. Not gonna lie. This episode was a bit of a downer with Dylan unloading his past on Andi, Eric leaving, and Chris Harrison and Andi having an uncomfortable sit-down. Let me give you some of the highlights, so you don’t have to watch the whole episode.
Who got kicked off:Eric the Explorer and Tasos the Wedding Coordinator went home, leaving 11 men left to vie for Andi’s heart.
Sidenote: First, I’d like to begin with how fantastic are the Suave commercials for The Bachelorette? Scripted magic. They bring in previous Bachelor/ette contestants and have a scripted exchange with a hair dresser. Basically, they not-so-subtly sneak in what they’ve been up to since The Bachelor/ette (all living happily ever after, of course, with kids and the love of their life, etc.) and how they can get those luscious locks Andi has on the episode. They are completely terrible, and yet I cannot look away. Exhibit A.
One-on-One:Dylan went on a train ride. Technically it was an Essex steam train somewhat resembling that of Harry Potter’s transportation to Hogwarts. But let’s be real. He went on a train for his date. A train. At dinner, Dylan told Andi that being on the show felt unnatural and that she’d see the real Dylan soon. Sooo I’m just going to be dating the fake Dylan for awhile? Nah. I’m good. Dylan, that’s not how this works. You know we only film for 6 weeks, right? Time is a tickin’. I swear this is the second time I’ve questioned if the producers effectively debriefed this group about how the show works. Finally, Dylan’s walls came tumbling down, and he shared with Andi all about his past. He grew up in Connecticut (Coincidence? I think not.) and both of his siblings died of drug overdose. Andi gave him the rose, making sure to emphasize it wasn’t a pity rose. Well…we shall see if he makes it through another week.
Group Date: The men were met by 5 professional female basketball players and Andi. The boys played some hoops against the ladies, and by played I meant got their beautiful behinds handed to them. After the shaming, the boys split up to play against each other. As the Boyz II Men date was tailored to Opera Man, this date was tailored to Coach Brian. This was his jam. He’s a basketball coach in real life so he’s all up on that locker room whiteboard, giving his pep talk. “Hustle and defense win championships!” Clear eyes, full hearts, gentleman. Coach Brian led Team Rosebud to victory and in doing so secured extra time with Andi as the losing team was sent back to the hotel. During their one-on-one time, Brian showed Andi some of his moves on the basketball court. At one point he nailed it from half court! Nothing but net. While she didn’t get a kiss after that epic shot, Andi gave him the rose on the group date. Don’t worry. Spoiler alert. Coach Brian takes Andi back to the basketball court during the cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony and gives her a kiss then, telling her he regretted not doing it last time. Swoon.
Quotes of the Night:
“We’re running around like little infants and they are barely trying.” – Nick, Software Sales
“I really hope they have more game off the court than they do on the court, because she’ll have a real difficult choice.” – Lindsay Harding, Los Angeles Sparks
One-on-One:Marcus the Ryan Gosling look-a-like (which in all fairness I’m seeing less and less of as the show progresses, but I’ve already dubbed him as such so I’m sticking with it goshdarnit) received the second one-on-one date of the week. Turns out both Marcus and Andi are completely terrified of heights. So what better date than to rappel down a 100-story building? I can’t think of a better scenerio, can you? It was actually pretty cute. Marcus had to talk Andi down off of the ledge. He also talked her through her nerves as they first began their descent. Marcus distracted her with questions about her family. Her humor started to return as Marcus prodded and they slowly made their way back to solid ground. He asked her, “Are you a good golfer.” Andi responded with, “No, [pause] I think I’m better than I am.” Andi initiated a kiss as they were suspended mid-air. They both overcame their fear, the music swelled, and they shared in another passionate kiss.
The boys in the hotel room could see the couple rappelling down right in front of their eyes, and as sweet as they are, they pounded on that hotel glass, made a ruckus, and badgered the couple with “There’s no crying in rappelling!”
At dinner, Marcus told Andi he hadn’t dated anyone in 3 years, because his girlfriend left him and he wasn’t ready and he’s finally been able to open up to Andi, and you know the deal. The date ended with a private country music concert.
The Love Letter: Andi received a hand-written note from a “secret admirer” delivered to her hotel room. That’s it. We don’t know who it’s from. If I had to guess I would say Nick because he sent flowers previously. I mean just sign your name, dude. She only has so much time with each of you. What good is a note if she doesn’t know who it’s from?
Cocktail Party: At the cocktail party Tasos immediately stepped up to get some one-on-one time with Andi. And then stepped right on home. Sean Lowe (The Bachelor from 2 seasons ago and now married to Catherine Giudici) had a pretty great tweet in regards to Tasos being eliminated at the rose ceremony (see below).
The Drama: Eric told Andi at the cocktail party that he felt she was putting on airs when the cameras were around in certain situations. He straight up told her that he thought she was acting at some points. Prior to that they had both agreed their relationship was “stalling.” They just weren’t on the same page. Andi cried and Eric left in a taxi.
Tweets of the Night:
Kudos to Joshua Malina. That one made me laugh out loud.
The Rose Ceremony That Didn’t Happen: ABC chose not to air this rose ceremony. Eric was sent home this week after an uncomfortable tiff with Andi at the cocktail ceremony. Instead of the rose ceremony ABC had a sitdown with Andi and they talked about that night. It was…uncomfortable (to say the least). Cut to Chris Harrison explaining why they didn’t show the rose ceremony, just Eric leaving in a taxi. Then cut to a Bravo-like sitdown of Chris Harrison and Andi. No, what, no. This is…uncomfortable. Why are they talking about this? Why are they still talking? I don’t know how to feel.
I’m not sure what was going on, but I think that was just drawn out way more than necessary. I understand the need to be sensitive to the situation; however, I don’t think it warranted an entire Bravo-like hashing out of the episode. It could have been just Chris Harrison explaining why they didn’t show the rose ceremony out of respect for Eric, and then addressed the tiff at After the Final Rose like they normally do. Yes, it’s sad those were Andi and Eric’s last exchanges, but he knew her for 3 weeks. He had a life outside of the show. I don’t need you to draw it out in two different episodes for one week. Not cool. Just curious, what were your thoughts on how ABC handled Eric’s departure and passing? It’s a unique situation, to be sure, but I wasn’t thrilled with how it was handled.
In two weeks (Monday, June 16th at 8|7c) we pick up again. And the gang tries their hand (See what I did there?) at miming in France. Tonight, The Bachelorette will still air, but this episode will just be a rehashing of everything that has happened in the season. Because goodness knows we need more of that in our lives. According to Entertainment Weekly, ratings haven’t been great this season. And the numbers don’t seem to be improving. I don’t think another overused highlight reel is going to do the trick.
Extras: Following the episode Jimmy Kimmel issued a new challenge, which might make this season a little less of a downer. Andi has her own repeatable phrase for the season. As you’ll remember Juan Pablo had a tendency to say the phrase, “It’s okay.” Well Andi’s go-to is, “Stop.” Sometimes it takes on a low, drawn-out guttural sound, other times it’s a quick snippet. The challenge? Add it to your Bachelorette drinking games. Or don’t, because Kimmel’s montage seems to indicate you’ll be seeing the bottom of your glass sooner rather than later.
Our basic cable kept cutting in and out this episode, so not an extensive recap this week, but here’s the gist and what you need to know to get by on your Bachelor brackets.
Who got kicked off: Free Spirit out.
First One-On-One:Cassandra – the ex-NBA dancer and single mom, who, at the last rose ceremony, was doubting being at the mansion and leaving her son at home. Sidenote: I didn’t realize she was only 21, just barely drinking age legal and kind of a youngin’. Cassandra and Juan Pablo went water driving(?). Basically, it’s a boat that looks like a car and has steering capabilities and everything. Then he took her to his house and they cooked together, followed by some salsa dancing.
Theme of the Night: “I really want to make her feel comfortable.” – Juan Pablo. He said this several times throughout the night. And I’ve found “making her feel comfortable” always involves dancing or singing to a Latin beat.
Group Date: They had a group date at the StubHub Center in Carson, CA where the LA Galaxy men’s soccer team plays. The ladies split up into two teams to play a little soccer. Alli was in her element. As for the rest of the ladies…It was a little tough to watch. After the game, Andi the Prosecutor stole a kiss in the kitchen. Nikki stole some great convo (no kiss though) and the rose for the date.
One-On-One: Chelsie – One of the many blondes and teachers received the second one-on-on date card, reading something having to do with trust. Again, to make sure she was feeling comfortable, Juan Pablo pumped up the Latin tunes on the radio on their drive to their date. They went tandem bungee jumping off of a bridge. But first they stood there for an hour while Chelsie toggled back and forth between jumping or chickening out. (Which I can’t completely blame her, because I would have wet my pants if that was the date I had to go on. Jumping to your death? No thank you.) Finally, after Juan Pablo was like we don’t have to do this, she was like, well, now I want to. She conceded, they jumped, the chord held, and they shared an upside-down-Spiderman-esque kiss. Afterwards, they had dinner, talked about their biggest fears, and ended the date with a private concert by Billy Currington.
Pool Party: Instead of a rose ceremony, Juan Pablo opted for a pool party to get to spend more time with the ladies. First, though, he surprised them with a Venezuelan breakfast. A man that likes to cook and dance? Sign me up. I also, greatly enjoy when the bachelors surprise the ladies in the AM before the ladies have had their coffee and had the chance to get all dolled up. I like to see if any of them will snap. Kelly (the girl with the dog) came downstairs, disheveled to let her dog Molly out to use the facilities, and got a little shocked to find Juan Pablo in the kitchen. That started a parade of ladiesin their make-up-less ensembles to stumble downstairs to greet Juan Pablo.
At the pool party, Sharleen made out with Juan Pablo kind of in the open, stirring up a little chatter amongst the ladies. Kat also rubbed a few people the wrong way with her game of chicken in the pool and monopolizing Juan Pablo’s time. Clare got a little overwhelmed and let out a few tears. Elise made known her dislike for Chelsie (or not necessarily dislike, but rather her concern that Chelsie was too much of a child and not ready to be a mom to Juan Pablo’s daughter.) Also, this is the most I’ve seen Elise talk, and she surprisingly got a rose again tonight – the sleeper (see the poll on this page for reference)?
Next Sunday is the LIVE wedding of Sean and Catherine!!! January 26th, 8 PM – 10 PM EST. I’ll follow up with a post on all you need to know before the special date.
The group headed to Barcelona this week, and a few said adios to a shot at love with Des.
Who got kicked off: Tic-tac-toe, three in a row. Tonight we said sayonara to James, Juan Pablo, and hashtag man Kasey. Can someone please explain to me how Michael is still there, because I just don’t get it.
A broken finger, a broken heart, a trip to the ER, an ex-girlfriend, and some themed-outfits. It must be Bachelorette night.
Who got kicked off: The ones in red X’s were sent home. Turns out the 3rd week of knowing someone who’s dating 24 other men is too soon to let them know you’re falling in love with them. Who woulda thunk it.
Group date: Des took the group on a competitive date. The boys were introduced to a stone-faced squad in black with National Dodgeball emblazoned across their shirts. In the words of Michael G., “It felt like a scene out of the A-Team.”
I like seeing guys in their natural state and seeing guys compete and fight for what they want. – Des
The guns on Des’ bachelors were no match for the National Dodgeball team. Holy smokes I’ve never seen grown men throw a dodgeball so fast or wear cheer shorts so tight before.
“Balls going all over the place, flying around.” – Mikey T. Yes, Mikey, yes they were.
Taking the phrase “love is a battlefield” to a whole new level, the men walked out in the most amazing ensembles ever for a face-off for more time with Des. The blue team won the first match up. Not to be outdone, the red team came back and chalked up a win. But the blue team came back to seal the deal: 2 out of 3. Des surprised them by taking both teams to the afterparty sans Brooks. Brooks broke his finger during the game and had to be taken to the ER.
At the afterparty, Brad revealed he is also a single dad to his 3-year-old son Maddox. After talking with Des in an interview with ABC, Brad said he thought he really opened up. I’m sensing a theme this season – a lot of opening up and sharing your story.
Cutest moment: Chris took Des to the rooftop and told her he had watched her interact with professional dodgeball coach and the way she coached the teams. Kind of adorable that he’s paying attention. He got the rose, which meant a private concert, slow-dancing, and smooching.
One-on-one:Kasey, aka annoying hashtag man from night one, had a one-on-one date, but not before Des had a stand-off with the man with a girlfriend.
That’s right. Not here for the right reasons: Brian. He admitted to having sex with his ex-girlfriend two days before coming on the show! Yeaaah, you gotsta go. Fun fact: he’s the one who told Des he ended his relationship 2 months before the show. (See last week’s recap.)
Sidenote: Zak’s facial expression when Chris Harrison escorted Brian’s girlfriend through the mansion was hilarious. He has a good shocked face. (See night one’s pics.)
Man, the quickest way to ignite a female bond is throw a lying, cheating man in the mix. So much girl power going on. Des gave Brian’s girlfriend a hug and then the crazy ex started tearing into him.
Favorite quote: Brian’s ex (Stephanie) to Brian, “I did throw rocks at you.” Yeah, so she might not be all that sane either.
I got a little confused as to who was going on what dates this week. Arie and Emily or Emily and Dolly? Emily and the bachelors or the bachelors and Emily’s friends?
I was also taken aback by the honesty (or stupidity) of some of the bachelors. [skip to Ryan and Alessandro]
Who Got Kicked Off: Those with the red X’s were eliminated this week. It was a sad day for Shelly the Ostrich Egg. Following the advice of Emily’s friends, Travis let Emily smash Shelly at the rose ceremony. The bachelors toasted to her memory. RIP Shelly. Keep trekking Travis.
One-on-One: Chris (the manly-man as Emily calls him) went on the first one-on-one this episode, which included scaling a building Spiderman-style to get to their dinner. Later they danced to a live concert by country singer, Luke Bryan, where Chris asked if he could kiss her. I’m on the fence about that one…awkward or not? Either way, watch out for this one, Emily likes him a lot.
Group Date: Determined to completely kill the romance (and then put that baby in reverse and back right over it) and really ground these boys in reality, Emily brought her girl friends on the group date followed by a boatload of kids. Yep, a good-old-fashioned grill session, an excellent way to weed out the boys from the men. Then while Emily got the scoop from her friends, she watched the guys interact with a bunch of kids on the playground.
Sean and Doug won over her friends during the interrogations, but it was Sean who left the date with the rose…and Tony who just left the date. He had a mini breakdown missing his son, so Emily thought it was best he go.
Doug you’re pulling at my heart strings. His dad had epilepsy, his mom left, he grew up in foster homes, currently a charity director. Quote: “You have bad days so you know when you have a good day.”
One-on-One: For those of you who watched I know what you’re thinking, Dolly Parton was the one on this date, but no actually Arie went on this date. I know it was confusing what with Emily’s gazed fixed on Dolly for the most part.
Emily took racecar driver, Arie, to Dollywood in Pigeon Ford, TN – that’s right a theme park dedicated to Dolly Parton. Arie, stealing my heart more and more by the minute was a good sport throughout the date and Emily disclosed, “I think he might have a little country in him.”
ABC surprised Emily with a guest appearance by Dolly Parton. Emily told Dolly she’s looking for “somebody that I like as much as I love.”
Fun Facts: Dolly Parton is 66-years-old, has known her husband 47 years (married for 45 of those) and met him at the Wishy-Washy laundromat.
At dinner, Emily tried to mess with Arie and threw in a ‘but’ when she was talking about giving him the rose. His face fell and Emily apologized telling him, “Now I know that you might kinda like me.”
Quote of the Night: Emily’s friend Wendy described Sean as “a genetic gift to the world.” Agreed and I’m stealing that phrase.
Failed Quotes of the Night: Ryan (who, as we will recall, Emily thought was Mr. Perfect) told Emily if she gained weight he’d “still love [her] just not love ON [her].” Ryan, keep those comments to yourself. Sidenote: He is wearing on my nerves. Looks like Ryan’s narcissistic side is coming out next week and it’s not pretty.
Kalon: Have I mentioned I don’t like him? He told Emily, “I love it when you talk. I just wish you’d let me finish.” Slap.
Emily’s response to the cameras later: “I like tall, skinny and funny, just not tall, skinny and condescending.” Then why did you keep him around, Emily, why?
Alessandro: “I’m kind of a gypsy.”
Alessandro, oh Alessandro. What hole did you crawl out of and how did you make it this far? In your case, honesty might not be the best policy. Hi, my name is Alessandro. I’m kind of a gypsy, I can’t have a pet, I see myself as the chief of the family, and I like freedom – especially the freedom to date my third cousin. True story.
But the final kicker? Calling Emily and Ricki a “compromise.” She said he should see it as a bonus, but he forthright said he didn’t see it that way and that it wasn’t a language barrier. Blood boiling, Emily booted him out the door before the roses were handed out.
Arie to the rescue! Gave Emily a hug (and make-out session) to calm her down after Alessandro’s departure. Ar-ie, Ar-ie, Ar-ie. I think he might be who she chooses. Too soon?
Tweets of the Night: Again, thank you to @Possessionista for putting into tweets my innermost feelings.
In other news, Michael tried to pull off the half-up-half-down look whilst playing football. Michael, we’re getting to the point where I’m going to have to make a “your hair is worse than Ben’s” joke/reference, especially if you insist on wearing it in a ponytail.
Off to Bermuda next week to put a little romance back in these dates. Until next time, Bachelor Fans!