Who got kicked off: David, Male Model Jordan and John were sent home. David and Jordan were both sent home on a two-on-one date and John was sent home at the rose ceremony.
One-on-One Date: Colton got the one-on-one date. They rode camels and the hot tub finally made an appearance. At dinner, Colton told her he has only said “I love you” once in his life to a significant other and he puts a lot of meaning behind it. They rode around on a big bus and there was a sign that read “Kiss her.”
Group Date: Singing…again. I actually All of the men went on the group date except for David and Jordan who got to hang out at home with Colton and reaffirm how excited they were for the two-on-one date. The group date was another singing contest. I’m unclear if Becca just really enjoys singing, but this date was a train wreck. They had to write lyrics at Wayne Newton’s house who showed up on horseback by the way, and sing in front of an audience to Danke Schoen . No one was good. Chris did fine, but then he didn’t go up to Becca to get time at the afterparty leaving Becca feeling confused. Chris said that he needs to see from Becca that she wants to be with him. I think Chris forgot who the Bachelorette is or the premise of the show.
Best Quote of the Night: Leo in reference to Lincoln’s song. “No one knew what he said and some would say that was good.”
Because everyone needs a great Leo photo.
Blake is falling hard and took her outside the arena and told her he’s falling in love with her. As we’ll remember Blake got the best date in teh history of Bachelor nation where they literally got to smash everything of Arie’s in a warehouse with the sweet, sweet tunes of Lil John.
Wills is not afraid of patterns. Nor fighting for his one-on-one time. He told Chris that Chris could not interrupt.
Chris Oddly enough just like Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie, Chris went off the deep end. You can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.
Two-on-One Date: David and Jordan got the two-on-one date in the desert. David spent the whole time talking poorly about Jordan and Jordan spent the whole time defending himself. Becca felt like she was back in the middle school. She chose Jordan to go to dinner with to get to know better and parted ways with David. At dinner Jordan only talked about himself and his modeling career and wished he had brought his portfolio. He was smiling ear to ear. Becca was not. She did not give him the rose and sent him home.
The rest of the episode was about Chris being crazy and Blake telling her he was falling in love with her.
The group is headed to Virginia, the city for Lovers.
The proposal this time was a lady. She chose an Ad Exec Jordan from Southern California and plays hockey. She is a single mom/songwriter from Nashville.
“All fairytales aren’t told the same way.” – Chris Harrison. Thank you for the wisdom, Chris Harrison. Thank you for the wisdom.
It really was the most dramatic season of The Bachelor because they jampacked all that they could into the finale. Two proposals, a breakup that took houuuurs, a recounting of the aforementioned proposal and breakup, and a new season of The Bachelorette. Arie pulled a Mesnick.
If you grabbed a US Weekly before the finale you already knew what happened. Arie proposed to Becca. They then played about 2 hours of their subsequent breakup unedited that included Arie meeting Becca at their secret location and him letting her know he was still in love with Lauren and that he wanted to see where that went.
Prior to the proposal Arie said this was the biggest decision of his life about 1,000 times, which if you had that as a drinking game you would have been smashed 10 minutes in. Arie’s family met both girls, loved them both and seemed to swing toward Becca because she was a safe option. So Arie chose Becca. At the proposal, the top of the rose fell off of Becca’s final rose, like the whole thing flung right off and when she tried to say her full name with Arie’s last name it just lacked a ring to it. Pre-signs?
Who got kicked off: Lauren, JK Becca. Arie proposed to Becca. Dumped Becca. Went back to Lauren. And proposed to Lauren. And Becca is the new Bachelorette. Got all that?
Chris Harrison kept saying we had seen nothing like this before. But we have. With Jason Mesnick, who they brought out on After the Final Rose. I guess Chris Harrison was referring to the painstakingly long unedited break up scene behind the scenes. After the breakup, Becca flew home heartbroken AND IN THE MIDDLE SEAT on the plane. Now that is just cruel. Arie said he felt like a monster right now. The thing that makes you a monster is letting her fly in the middle seat! You could have at least offered to pay for her upgrade.
After the Final Rose
Bring ’em out, bring ’em out
Chris Harrison brought out Becca and then Arie and had a deep conversation. Becca handled it with such poise. ESPECIALLY because they made her come back for a second night and wear TWO different dresses for After The Final Rose, just because this season was so dramatic and they needed her there both nights. The poor girl. She better find love after all of this.
They aired clips of Arie flying to meet Lauren and them talking on the couch and her asking questions and him explaining. She asked if he was over Becca and he said, “1,000 percent.” WTF. YOU LITERALLY WERE JUST WITH BECCA, YOUR FINACE. I do not understand.
Lauren responded, “Well, you got me, duh. Just so you know I’m freaked out by engagement, but I’m hoping that doesn’t take that much longer.” Umm. OK. Whatever. I hope they’re happy in love.
Chris Harrison brought out the posse of Arie’s previous ladies to comment on what they saw. Usually those narrations are the worst, but they were actually super helpful this time. Go ladies. Kendall wished that Arie and Lauren found love. Bekah was like, ‘Lauren, dump his behind.’ And Seinne was smart and insightful. Caroline still thinks she was the one that was publicly broken up with and betrayed by Arie. I swear she thinks the breakup happened to her with how emotional it makes her. Tia gave the most helpful information, saying that Arie contacted Lauren on New Year’s just before the premiere of the show, 1 and 1/2 months after his engagement to Becca in Peru. The plot thickens. So Arie had an idea that there was still a possibility with Lauren before he broke up with Becca.
Arie did say he wanted the breakup to be televised so that Bachelor Nation could see that it was on him for the breakup. Take that for what you will.
Best Quote: Kendall still remains the best bachelorette. She commented that she was fine that they showed the breakup because it showed her how strong Becca was. Always seeing the unique, bright side, that one.
The posse also vouched for Becca as one of the kindest bachelorettes they knew and so deserving of love and ready to give it.
Then Chris Harrison brought out Arie and Lauren. Lauren announced she was moving to Arizona to be with him. And Arie in true Arie fashion proposed to Lauren publicly on stage with Becca in the wings and his and Lauren’s parents there at After the Final Rose. Lauren said yes. So there’s that.
Fun Fact Funding
Bachelor Nation is amazing and started to Venmo Becca to buy her a drink for the breakup she was put through. According to Chris Harrison and Popsugar.com, Becca’s fans started to Venmo her “F*ck Arie Wine Money.” This. Is. Genius. And hilarious. Becca’s Venmo account has reached over $6,000 with contributions of well wishes. BuzzFeed captured a few of the best. Becca, the queen that she is, is donating it to Stand Up to Cancer. Chris Harrison vowed that ABC would match it. Boom.
There have been a few faux accounts that have popped up, so make sure if you contribute to the wine fund, you do it to the right handle. The one with all the comments. @RebeccaKufrin
Chris Harrison also surprised Becca with an announcement of his own. She was about to meet her men that night!
The newest Bachelorette is Becca!
“I felt like my future was ripped out from under me.” To get a better one!
Becca’s Preview of Men: What you need to know
Lincoln Accent and ripped. His intro, “I’m blushing, but you can’t tell for obvious reasons.”
Chase Wasn’t super memorable, but he was there.
Ryan Entertained with a banjo, and he’s pretty good. He’s quirky just like her.
Darius Apologized on behalf of his gender.
Blake Brought a horse named Bradley, saying “When you fall off the horse you gotta get back up again. I want to be the man to help you get back up again.” Umm, adorbs. And kudos to Bradley for keeping it chill in front of a live studio audience. What a stud.
Premiere of The Bachelorette is May 28.
After After the Final Rose. Arie and Lauren are living it up on Twitter. So much for staying off of social media. That boils my blood. Where’s the wine fund?! They look happy in love, though and took Jason and Molly Mesnick’s advice and got the heck outta dodge.
Fantasy Suite Date Cards Galore! A Tent For a Date. An Ex Returns For His Girl and Arie’s Living it Up in Peru Throwing Around the “L” Word Like It’s Confetti.
Arie and his final three ladies traveled to Peru for adventures and Fantasy Suite Date Cards. He said, “I love you,” to ALL of the ladies over and over again. Dropped the “L” bomb just like that. Arie’s like poo poo ABC and your rules, I do what I want.
Who got kicked off: Our beloved, quirky Kendall was sent home at the rose ceremony. Arie pulled her aside and they both saw their relationship wasn’t as far along as the others. Until next time, Kendall. My fingers are crossed for a Bachelor in Paradise reunion with you, your quirkiness, and your taxidermy. A beach is a very nice place for a ukele. Just sayin’. Peace.
The Twist! ‘Twas Beccawhose ex returned to find her love. This guy flew all the way to Peru to give it a go with Becca. That is commitment there, ladies. He talked to Arie. It was awkward. Arie was like I literally just had a fantasy suite date with this girl you claim to love…
Becca had none of it and didn’t want that to affect her and Arie’s relationship. She went back to Arie and all’s good in the hood. Also, timeline. Becca dated the ex guy for 7 years and it was weird timing that he and Becca had broken up one year ago at this very similar time.
Anywhooos, Arie was like I need to process and didn’t know if he wanted to have to deal with the crazy ex if he did choose Becca. He asked, is this going to be a problem in our relationship later? Translation: I’m going to use this as an excuse when I pick Lauren B. over Becca. (Disclaimer: I have no idea who he chooses. I’m just being snarky. I don’t read the spoilers! They take away from the surprise!)
Two ladies are left! Lauren B. and Becca K.
Also, Becca’s date included a tent in the desert. Just a tent. Just a bed. In the desert.
Next week Monday AND Tuesday, March 5th and 6th at 8|7c is the Bachelor finale! Reality Steve and TV Guide indicate there will be a 2 hour finale and a 1 hour After the Final Rose on Monday night and a second follow-up After the Final Rose for 1 hour on Tuesday night. Yes, two nights. Buckle up, stock up and pour yourself a glass…from that box o’ wine. You deserve it.
Becca K., Kendall, Lauren B., and Tia were headed to hometowns. Next week is Women Tell All.
Racing on a dirt track, riding horseback on the beach, going apple picking and going taxidermy-ing. Can you guess which hometown belonged to whom? Arie was grilled by the families and siblings and it made him sweat. At the rose ceremony, Arie pulled Kendall aside to get some lingering questions answered. And he found them.
Who got kicked off: Our girl Tia is headed back to Weiner, AR, to be reunited with her bestie Raven. She told Arie she hoped he followed his heart. Such a sweetheart.
Tomorrow night @ 8pm is Bachelor Winter Games and Thursday @ 8pm and a reunion @ 10pm. The Bachelor Women Tell All is on Sunday at 8pm | 7c. And again on Monday night at 8pm | 7c.
Arie is headed to Weiner, AR. Arie is falling in love with Lauren. And four ladies are gearing up for Hometowns!!
The ladies and Arie traveled to Italy to find some Pisa wine and love. Next week is HOMETOWNS! The best week of all!
Arie greeted Italy in the only way appropriate for the show, “I can’t wait to drink some wine.” Cheers to that.
Who got kicked off:Jacqueline took herself out of the game by telling Arie she had doubts and didn’t know if she was making the right decision. I think she was afraid of getting her heart broken and had 6 years of PhD ahead. Seinne went home on a one-on-one date. 22-year-old Bekah went home on the group date.
Walking in Heels All Over Paris, Arie Was Almost a baby daddY, And A two-on-One with Kendall’s Emotional Intelligence Off the Charts
Paris, France! The ladies were whisked off to the city of love to fall head over heels with Arie. Lauren got the first one-on-one and was pretty silent the entire date, but her silence led to the greatest knowledge of all – that Arie almost had a baby in his relationship with the mom he keeps talking about. Jacqueline got a one-on-one and let it drop that she wants to do a PhD somewhere, a casual 6 years. Arie bought her a dress and heels to walk around Paris in. The group daters watched madly on as Bekah got to star in Moulin Rouge with Arie and got a rose. Kendall and Krystal went on the two-on-one date, and Kendall came out on top of a battle of emotions and kissed Arie passionately on top of the Eiffel Tower.
Who got kicked off: Krystal was sent home on the first two-on-one date of the season. Single mom Chelsea and whacky, lovable Jenna were sent home at the rose ceremony this week.
Best Quote of the Night: Goes to Jenna! While she may be gone, she is forever in our hearts as she described her feelings with grand gestures and non sequiturs. “Anger, hurt. Your heart gets completely ripped out. That’s how I feel.” (It’s a lot sadder when you blog it, but to see how she describes it, you just know that one’s gonna be ok. Still waiting on those requests for interpretations from Jenna’s mind.)
Second Best Quote of the Night: Jacqueline
“I could have the one-on-one and that would be amazing. Or I could be on the two-on-one with Krystal and that would be my worst nightmare.” (And then they made her walk all over Paris in heels. I think she still would argue that was better than a two-on-one with Krystal. And I hope she got to keep those fabulous shoes.)
One more week to whittle it down until hometowns! The best parts of the season. Previews show tears upon tears.
Winter Games are next week! Not the Olympics. Those are this week, but dare I say maybe a step above. Only one thing is for certain, we’ll find out, February 13th!
All Roads Lead to Hot Tubs! BEKAH IS 22. LAKE TAHOE HIKING AND GLAM SHAMING ARE HERE.
“For the record I am always Pro Glam.” Me too, Chelsea. Me too. Preach it. A true Glamper if I’ve ever seen one. The ladies came up with clever ways to use or not use a compass in the outdoors of Lake Tahoe. Bekah is 22 and making Arie nervous. Becca K. apologized for being sweaty at the rose ceremony.
Who got kicked off: Maquel technically left on her own volition because of her grandpa’s passing. Caroline and Brittany were sent home at the rose ceremony. No cocktail party was had.
One-on-One: Seinne our leading lady got the one-on-one date. She went paragliding with Arie on Lake Tahoe as the other ladies watched on from the cabin. She also had a dinner and concert.
Group Date: The group date was a hike in the wilderness. They split into three groups. One of the lucky groups had Arie as a team member. I’m pretty sure no one knew how to use a compass, but kudos for creativity. All roads lead to hot tubs. After they found their destination they immediately stripped down into their bikinis. Krystal cozied up next to Arie and started a feud. Arie seems to really like the taxidermist. #TeamTaxidermy
On the group date during his conversation with Tia, Tia revealed she was feeling a little insecure about their relationship and Arie’s response was “Don’t worry, I have a plan.” I’m confused. Can I be in on this plan? But like really, what is this plan? I’m curious.
One-on-One: Bekah went on a horseback riding date around Lake Tahoe. Along the trail was a hot tub. In the hot tub Bekah uncovered an accident Arie had in a truck called the Black Widow that crashed and rolled several times. He has screws in his collar bone that he broke. He bonded with Bekah even more. At dinner Bekah finally told him she was 22. And you could see his face immediately change. His mind is racing. Bekah fought to stay and Arie decided to give her the rose saying the he couldn’t let her go yet.
Jenna: No, but seriously, if you have an idea of what is going on in Jenna’s head please tell me. Like fill out the contact me page with what you think is in Jenna’s head and I will post it here. Because I am so lost.
I’m also actively recruiting hotties for the tech recruiter Brittany because she is adorable and deserves to find love. So if you know any sexy bachelors send them my way!
Best Conversation of the Night:
Marikh to Chelsea: I heard that you were glam shaming me.
Chelsea: What is glam shaming?
Marikh compared it to slut shaming, telling Chelsea, “You told Arie I was using the compass to fix my makeup.” Chelsea responded that it was lighthearted. Marikh corrected, “I was fixing my hair.”
Chelsea’s response to a producer in an interview: “I am a former model. That was part of my career to get glammed up. For the record, I am always pro glam.”
Tonight is a new episode! Get your glam and glasses ready!
Dog Training Trauma, GLOW, and Wine Country for One
Lauren S. got a one-on-one date to the wine country and then was sent home with Arie citing there was no spark. Annaliese not only had bumper car mishaps, but also had some run-ins with unfriendly dogs in her childhood. Cue black and white flashback. She was sent home at the cocktail party just before the rose ceremony. And my girl Bibiana was sent home at the rose ceremony.
Who got kicked off: Lauren S. went home on a one-on-one date. Annaliese went home unceremoniously at the cocktail party and Bibiana went home at the rose ceremony.
Motorcycle Roadtrips down memory lanE, Dress-Up with Rachel Zoe, Hometown visits, Bumper Car Trauma and Pillow Lips
We’re off to the races. Becca got the first date. Krystal got a rose and went straight to meet the parents. 15 ladies went on the group date and played adult-sized bumper cars. Krystal revealed she had a tough life growing up and her brother was homeless. Annaliese revealed she doesn’t like bumper cars. I’d like to upfront apologize to all those out there that have also had bumper car trauma and or have been hurt having to be subjected to the phrase “pillow lips.” Twitter was very unkind to you.
Who got kicked off: Jenny, Lauren G., and Valerie were sent home never to be remembered again. Although, Jenny did make a dramatic exit, breezing by Arie and telling him she was there to make friends and apparently this was the first time she was broken up with. Well, she is handling it well.
First one-on-one date: Becca Whisked away on a motorcycle, Becca was first one to go on a date, zipped up in a leather jacket and riding down the highways of Los Angeles. He showered her with Rachel Zoe gowns and Louis Vuitton heels and Neil Lane jewelry. I feel like this date was designed (See what I did there. The Bachelor interns would be proud.) to make the other girls jealous and make Becca the most hated woman in the house. Because Becca got to keep ALL of the swag, take it back home and then meet Arie later in the night for the rest of their date. Still a great date. Awkward because Becca just modeled the clothes, but I think they got to hang out by the pool after the promenade.
Best Quote: “Have you ever done this before?” She asked, referring to Arie putting the earrings on her ears.
Arie: Yes…for my mom.
Umm…not exactly what I was picturing, but suuure.
He really likes to kiss Becca.
Another Great Quote: Arie to Becca: “I feel like you reminded me most of myself when I was on The Bachelorette so if you have any questions just ask.” That feels more like a big brotherly role. But he likes to kiss her. I’m unsure. I’m so confused!
One-on-one: Krystal went on a one-on-one date back in time with Arie to Scottsdale, AZ. They drove by the high school. He showed her where his first kiss was, his first job at pizza hut and then proceeded to go through old family photos (videos included). The real kicker is they went to meet the fam bam. Krystal met mom, dad, bro, and bro’s recent wife. Krystal handled it well.
Group Date: Aka the best date ever. Demolition Derby was the name of the game, where you basically crash into each other until your car stopped running with only one woman standing. A-mazing. AND you got to spray paint a car. 15 ladies were on this date. 15 ladies drove around in derby cars to ram into each other.
Everyone wanted to know who painted the 9 car and transformed it into the epic 69 that it was. Creativity at its finest. That my friends was our good friend, Brittany T. Arie, the sweatheart that he is, made sure to check on Brittany at the rose ceremony because she was out for whiplash.
Bumper Car Trauma: Bibiana asked where the track was in Miami because it was gonna be her new therapy. Get it, girl. Meanwhile, Annaliese flashed back to a traumatic bumper car incident where she remembered getting trapped in the middle and getting hit. “And I just remember being so alone and so scared.” I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure that’s HOW bumper cars work. Like it’s inherent in the game. I don’t understand.
I’d like to formally apologize on behalf of all of the friends on the Twitter universe, if you have ever been personally victimized by bumper car trauma.
Best Quote: “So could this be the first time Arie actually wins something on a race track.” Chris Harrison with the shade.
Bashelor Instant Replay camera for the win. Seinne was the winner. Seinne went to Yale and lived in Scottsdale for a time. Keep an eye on this one.
Rose on the Group Date: Seinne got the rose on the group date. I love when they interview Bekah C. and they always ask how she’s feeling and she’s always like “I’m so good,” and then they bring out a one-up by another girl. I would like this to continue. It’s very entertaining.
One of the girls said, “We all have such personalities and we’re all trying to figure out what he’s looking for.” Lemme help a sister out. He’s looking for blondes and Beccas.
Let’s Talk Taxidermy:
So Kendall introduced Arie to parts of her taxidermy collection. Arie was like, I knew you were artsy, but…
Arie explained he had a friend that collected doll parts, so he gets it. Kendall’s response: “See that’s creepy. Doll parts are creepy,” says the girl who collects taxidermy.
Jenny went home in a huff and was really just upset the taxidermy collector beat her out. And she was there to make friends and become Instagram famous. And she had never been broken up with. And girl needs to get over it. She’s out week 2, bummer, you’ll survive.
Best Tweets of the Night: Shout out to these Twitter folk who narrated each moment lovingly.
Bachelor Winter Games premieres February 13th and my heart is warmed by the full winter ahead of me! A new episode of The Bachelor airs tonight 8|7c on ABC.