The week before Hometowns. The boys got on a bus and are actually pretty good at rapping. We also learned the remaining bachelors learned the word Frontrunner existed. They were only allowed horses on dates this episode.
The group stayed in Mendoza, Argentina.
Who got kicked off: No surprise. Alex and James Taylor the last two picked last week were out. We may has well have said good-bye to them last week. Only four can make it to hometowns. If you weren’t a “frontrunner” last week, you ain’t going.
Oucho Gaucho. The demise of Alex.
Alex was greeted with a hug, like one of those hugs where the other person is like your aunt or uncle at the family reunion that goes in for that kiss and you turn the cheek to bring it in for the hug. That’s what it was like for Alex. The grandma hug.
As they were riding in the car together towards their date destination, Alex announced he could freestyle. He made “JoJo” rhyme with “liquor store” and all of the magic died. Then he turned to her and said, “See what I did there? That’s like my go-to line.” Oh my lordy, Alex it physically hurts. It really hurts.
This was interlaced with video of the remaining bachelors freestyling on the bus poking fun at Alex’s height and they were actually pretty great.
To make matters worse, ABC threw Alex into a very unattractive gaucho outfit. If JoJo wasn’t feeling for him already, she sure as heck wasn’t catching any feelings now. “You look so good.” – JoJo. You are a liar, JoJo.
Meanwhile jojo gets to look bangin’ in tight brown jeans and a white top. The final nail in the coffin was cuddling with a horse. Not really. It really went down at dinner when Alex told her he loved her and she completely shot him down.
It was the Wells breakup all over again. I’m really wanting you to open up and then when you do immagonna cut you down. Even though there was no rose on this date, JoJo sent him home right then and there. She said she had too much respect for him. This is now a thing. The new dumping model. In order to let people go more quickly and bypass the rose ceremony, essentially stripping Chris Harrison of his job, you say you have so much respect for them, rip the band-aid off and let them go. Forget another couple of nights in the 5-star hotel room. I have too much respect for you. She never really liked Alex.
Bachelors on a Bus
Meanwhile, back in Bro-town, the bachelors were going O’Town on the bus. See what I did there? (Almost as great as Alex.) The bachelor boys were bro-ing out on a bus. (Lyrics to follows)
Quote of the date: After Alex professed his love for JoJo, JoJo shut down and told him:
“When you’re telling that you’re falling in love with me I don’t feel as excited as I should feel. In my heart I don’t think that I would get to that point.” JoJo to Alex!
But let’s be real, Alex. This can’t come as a surprise to you. You were the last one picked last episode. You almost got sent home then.
“I don’t like saying good-bye like this.” – JoJo. JoJo, you can’t just rip someone’s heart out and then want them to be ok with it. That’s cool. I didn’t need that organ anyway.
JoJo: “I don’t know what the bleep I’m doing.” Yes you do. You’re marrying Jordan and having Thanksgiving dinner with Olivia Munn. Do it for the Munn!
One-on-One: Jordan got a second One-on-One date of the season.
Jordan: “We’ve had a couple tough conversations.”
Like what did we do today? And what are we going to make when we have dinner with Olivia Munn. Or where are we going to summer with Olivia Munn. Oh, you’re not close with your brother and his wife? We’ll make it work.
They went to a vineyard where they crushed grapes in a barrel. JoJo hopped into Jordan’s tiny barrel and they did a cute little dance. JoJo when describing their relationship said it was a very fun one.
And then they drank their foot juice.
Followed by what else but a hot tub. Gotta rinse off all the foot joins. And in case you forgot they narrated the day for us at dinner.
At dinner Jordan also talked about his relationship or lack thereof with his NFL playing brother Aaron Rodgers
As they were on the fate, the boys said frontrunner about 10 million times.
We learned that the boys latched on to the word Frontrunner. I want each person left to define what makes a frontrunner.
Jordan to JoJo: I am so in love with you. This was JoJo’s face. She loves him so much. She’s lighter when she’s with him. I bet you were wondering what was JoJo’s face like when Jordan told her he loved her. Well aren’t you lucky that I just so happened to rewind it, pause it, go back 10 seconds and then screenshot the exact moment. You’re welcome.
Group Date: James Taylor, Robby, and Chase
The group had a night in of games and pillow fights. They watched the Argentinian Bachelor, played truth or dare that involved Robby taking off all of his clothes and running down the hotel halls. And watched James Taylor stick a dozen french fries in his mouth before vomiting. It was lovely really. Just like any sleepover I’ve ever been to.
Chase is just hanging out on the periphery. JoJo’s cuddling with Robby on the bed, JT is hanging out by her feet and Chase is just kinda there hanging out to the side.
On some one-on-one time with JoJo pulled Robby away. She knew he had had a long relationship with his last gf. He dated her for three years and then broke up with her. Rumor on the bachelor mill is that robby dumped his gf as soon as he found out he was on the show. He told JoJo he broke up with her four and half months ago…sooo right before he got on the show. Deuces. “Do you feel like you’ve moved on in that short amount of time?” -JoJo Because I want a ring homie.
James Taylor told JoJo in some one-on-one time that he feels as though they have a sweet relationship. HIs insecurities reared their ugly heads as he perceptibly told her he felt she had a physical connection with other people. I’m. uuuncomfortable. He’s right. But duuuude.
Robby lost his clothes but got the rose.
One-on-One: Luke and more horses.
I swear the the only thing to do when you’re on The Bachelorette in Argentina is to ride a horse. They only rented horses this episode. That was the only thing within budget. Luke rode in on a horse the first night he met JoJo. So it was sweet to see him back in his element. They went skeet shooting wher Luke taught her how to hit the target.
They had a moment on the hay barrel. Luke told her he wanted to enjoy life with whoever he ends up with (me! Choose me, Luke!)
At the rose ceremony JoJo let James Taylor go. He handled it so well. He thanked her for being so good to him. she said he made her a better person and he said it’s not your fault. I hear that a lot. Don’t cry for him. He’s gonna meet someone amazing as soon as he busts out his guitar. And if not, new bachelor material?
And then there were FOUR. You know what that means!! HOMETOWNS! HOMETOWNS! HOMETOWNS!
Rumors about Robby and his ex, Jordan’s relationship with his bro, JoJo crying saying her heart is broken. We’re in for a good time!