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Mimosas are flowing, Moscow Mules Came Out of Nowhere, and Has anyone seen Corinne’s Nanny?

Nick went in kissing everyone these dates. No lips nor morning drinks, were spared during the making of this episode. Clothing was definitely optional.

Who got kicked off: Liz (friend to Jade of Jade and Tanner, occupation Doula) was sent home before the rose ceremony. We didn’t get a full rose ceremony last week so expect to see many more ladies gone tonight.

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Group Date: Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, Alexis, Hailey, Lacey, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L., Taylor, Elizabeth W. Date card read: Always a Bridesmaid

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Photo credit: ABC

What better way to kick off the season and jinx Nick forever than with a wedding photographer shoot. The fashion photographer sported the greatest ensemble. Each girl was assigned a themed wedding gown, except for a lucky few that got to be bridesmaids.

Corinne announced,  “I’ve never been a bridesmaid. I guess I’m just a natural born bride.”

Corinne is supes pissed when the half naked Brittany showed up spray tanned and topless and looking hotter than her. Meanwhile, my favorite dolphin shark is balancing a cocktail on her faux baby belly. My girl. MVP. Shark costume straight to pregnant. Really crushing this season.

the bachelor alexis shotgun wedding

Photo credit: ABC

Most despised girl in the house: Corinne took her top off in the pool for her “beach wedding,” photo shoot, which was just a white bikini. She also turned around to the photographer and had Nick hold her bosom. So that happened first group date. The very qualified photographer deemed Corinne the winner of the challenge, so she got extra one-on-one time and then at the after party she proceeded to steal him 3 times from the other ladies. She’s really gunning for least-liked in the house.

Corinne got the rose on the group date.

Taylor vs Corinne: Re-interrupted. Corinne got super upset when Taylor “re-interrupted” Corinne and Nick. Corinne first interrupted Taylor and then got P-O’d when Taylor came back. “There is a classy way to go about it.” Then Corinne started talking about herself in the third person. Corinne then tried to bully the mental health counselor, Taylor, into an argument. Are you ok? I’m ok. Are you ok? Because I want to make sure you’re ok. Then a speech about interrupting.

Has anyone seen Corinne’s nanny?

Raven earned my respect. I left a lot at home to come out here and I need to know if he’s the kind of man I want for a husband. She just got out of a relationship 8 months ago, owns a boutique in Hoxie, AR, and had the best quote of the night.

“If Nick likes someone who is leading with their sexuality, then no wonder it’s his fourth time. That’s really mean, but it’s true.” – Raven just became my new favorite.

One-on-One: Danielle M. America’s sweetheart got the first one-on-one. She took a helicopter ride to a land on a yacht. “I’m excited my name was on the date card.” – Danielle M. “I’m glad you’re excited. I was glad to put it on there.” – Nick

Hot tub number one appeared on the yacht. At dinner Danielle told him she lost her fiancé. He overdosed and she found him. Danielle M. thought Nick reacted great to her story and they went on a ferris wheel ride straight out of The Notebook.

Liz told Christen her secret. Please, Liz, remind me where you know Nick from, again. I’m having trouble remembering. And can you please clarify did you or didn’t you have sex? I think that was her opening line for every scene. Liz cited the encounter with Nick as an awkward interaction.

Group Date: Breakup Theme. Supes fun.

Christen, Josephine, Astrid, Jaimi, Christina, Liz. Date card read: We need to talk.

So many crop tops. The group toured the Museum of Broken Relationships. Who wouldn’t want to do that on a first date? Nick got to include a piece, one of his previous engagement rings. So that’s fun.

At the museum, there was a very fake breakup happening. The girls acted surprised when the exhibit’s curator came in and said it was part of the live exhibit. The rest of the date they performed the art of breaking up, where they each role-played with Nick a breakup. I’m telling you fool-proof dates this season.

The Breakup Speech that came true: Josephine slapped him. The other girls had witty banter about not picking up his socks. But Liz. Liz went in for the hard hitting stuff. She wrote a legit breakup letter about their relationship and how they met. The whole shebang. And she READ IT ALOUD. In front of all of the ladies. It was awkward. Liz made it awkward. She looked uncomfortable reading it. No one knew except Christen, whom Liz had confided in earlier about her relationship with Nick knew it was true. So people were genuinely confused. “So are you guys together or what?”

Looks like it’s “Or what” because at the group date after party that night, Nick said I’m out! And sent Liz Doula (not her last name, her profession, but helps keep the Elizabeth’s straight) home.

Scenes with Alexis: Not only did we get to experience her shotgun wedding, but in the bloopers, Alexis made me love her even more. She brought two cupcakes with candles out to Nick, singing happy birthday. Nick asked what they were celebrating and she told him it was the 1 year anniversary of her boob job. Her boob-aversary. I just need her to stay forever.

Best Tweets of the Night:

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